The SEX Quotient

Greetings!

This is a story of the intensive efforts of Sindhu in choosing her “arranged” life partner. Read on to find out how she goes about this whole process…

Last year I completed my Graduation in Engineering and Dad slowly started the topic – you guessed it right – Marriage. When he asked me the first time, I gave the reason that millions of us Indians give – what so urgent? I am still very young. As is the case with any Dad, he kept quiet for a few weeks. At every given opportunity he raised this topic and his intensity grew by the weeks. Finally I agreed – with some conditions – The Marriage has to be as per my Wishes, Choice and Tastes. He agreed ad libitum. When I was a kid, lost Mom in a tragic road-accident.

The first step was to register with the most popular matrimonial web portal. The very next hour our telephones were flooded with calls. When we called up the Officer at the portal’s local office, she politely assured me that all callers were genuine indeed, because the portal does verify the credentials like Address and Telephone for correctness and genuineness. My e-mail Inbox too was flooded with around 45 “enquiries”. And the postman too delivered couple of “posts” adorned with Red and Yellow colors gracing the corners of the covers.

I was not only perplexed but was truly amazed at the response. I let past one week without any serious action. And the responses dried out. Though I had a choice to “enquire” registered “bridegrooms” at the portal, I never did that.

That Sunday, to my surprise I received a call from the portal office informing me that they had arranged for a “Kalyana Mela” program – a get together for registered singles. For me it was a “Maapilai Mela” [Maapilai in Tamil means Bridegroom]. I jumped in excitement and informed dad about the program.

That Mela was a week away and I scanned all the 120 profiles that I had received. I short listed about 12 of them and personally telephoned those families requesting them to attend the mela with their bridegrooms.

Dad and me visited the mela. All those whom I had personally invited had arrived, including many other hundreds. I was given a “table” with four chairs. About 20 of them “cold-called” on us and we graciously discussed their profiles too. I short-listed 3 among these and at the end of the day I had to choose one among the 15 prospective profiles.

Dad was very particular that we finished further short-listing quickly before the “heat” died down. So we contacted all the 15 profiles and gave appointments for them to visit us for a “discussion”. Within around 3 weeks I met all 15 of them and most of them in-principle agreed for an alliance with me!

Dad and me rejected 12 of them for various reasons. I had the toughest job to settle one among the 3 on hand. You can imagine the confusion and dilemma a girl faces in this situation – my heart raced – but I told myself that I need to calm down, take time and then make good decision – because this was a once-in-a-lifetime job.

I thought for a week and hit upon a strategy to select one – even though all, apparently, fitted-the-bill. I wanted to make not only a fair & informed decision but also follow a scientific process. I wanted to checkout all critical factors in each of them to aid my decision. Sounds business like? Yes, I am my dad’s daughter – dad was an entrepreneur with reasonable success. Upon dad’s arrival that evening, “Dad I want to measure out the SEX factor in each of the 3 prospective grooms, to aid my decision”, I mentioned. He was aghast and asked what that was. Dad, “S = Sensitive, E = Ego and X = Xenial. I want to measure the Sensitive Quotient, Ego Quotient and Xenial Quotient. I want the “man” not only to be intelligent and brave as you have mentioned, and considered while short-listing these 3, I need the person to score well in the S.E.X tests”, I explained. He laughed his bellyful but gave a disdainful look in the end. I was not worried at his reaction though. “Dad, you played a major role in short-listing, I am now humbly requesting you to give me the freedom to select one among the 3 you have short-listed. Fair Deal right? It is my life and the selection methodology has to be mine - In the interest of you and me too.” I pleaded. He must have seen some reason in my statement, brooded for a while and moved out. He came back to me and asked if S.E.X model was tried elsewhere. I told him, I got the idea originally and Google was never used in the process! Again he gave a scornful look and moved out. After dinner when I pestered for his concurrence, he agreed with a piece of fatherly advice; In addition, he conditioned that, I should be carrying out these on the sly, and, he would not in anyway involve himself in the process. I agreed with butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

The three short-listed ones were Mr. G, Mr. A and Mr. S.

The next evening dad asked me to explain in brief what I meant by those Quotients. I was happy too, to answer that. Sensitive Quotient measures the ability of the person’s sensitiveness towards feelings and circumstances of others [including me]. Ego Quotient pertains to the person’s fair ego complex – I expect the person to have a moderate Ego. Xenial Quotient pertains to the ability of the person to be hospitable with friendly visitors. Though these quotients sound abstract, it’s my discretion to judge on all these factors, I told dad. “Sindhu, what you narrated sounds too theoretical and too childish. I feel you are a bit excited about the whole selection process and I feel it is this excitement that’s making you to invent things. Frankly, I am a bit skeptical on this. I fervently appeal to you - not to mess up things and complicate matters. “Dad, I am your daughter. I understand you. I will be cautious in every step. Believe me. Trust me.” I appealed. “GOD Bless You” blessed dad.

I called Mr. G first one evening. I told him we would go to a shopping mall by Auto-rickshaw. He agreed. We called in an Auto and negotiated Rs.50/- for the drop. When we reached the mall, the Auto Driver demanded Rs.30 more. I stepped aside and allowed G to handle the situation. G got wild, but controlled - he handled the situation diplomatically. He asked the Driver “How many kilometers was the drive?” “5 Kms” replied the Driver. “What is the Government Authorized Fare?” “Rs. 7 per Km” “So actually you should have charged only Rs.35/-, right? But you wanted Rs.50 and we agreed to that. Now why are you demanding more?” “But Sir, petrol costs have increased, traffic was unusually heavy during our drive and because we got stuck in the traffic and lost about an hour – I am demanding Rs.30 more. Per hour, if I don’t earn at least Rs.50, how will I manage my family, Sir?” reasoned the Driver. G was surprised by the Driver’s socio-economic counter! In a composed manner G flashed Rs.65 to the Driver and settled the issue. On studying this – I was very much happy that G had a mind of his own to reason out and also had the ability to understand reasons from the other side of the pond. Not a street fighter but was sensitive enough to understand the difficulties of the driver and also negotiated well to settle at Rs.15 more than Rs.30 demanded by the driver. He demonstrated the right temperament. Full marks to G on this count – S Quotient.

As minutes passed by in the mall, I observed that G was a bit shy/reserved on many counts – a negative factor – understandable - since we had been meeting only for the second time.

As we walked out of the mall, one poor beggar girl tugging a small child approached us, “Ma, feeling hungry. Baby has not eaten anything since morning. Please provide us something.” G immediately dropped a Rs.5 coin in her bowl. I really appreciated this. All the more since, just a few minutes back, when a middle aged woman too begged saying that she lost her way from the bus station and needed cash to go back to village – G deduced that the lady was a cheat.

To test his ego, I asked G why he had poor marks in his university exams. “It was because I spent very little time studying. And moreover I was not gifted with a large brain!” G joked.
I was surprised at this answer. Generally guys reel out many reasons for their failures. “G, I know that you had a crush against a beautiful girl, while in College” – what happened to that? G was taken aback, but he replied that it was true and he failed to charm her enough to win her. He also told me that, he smoked regularly and was a party drinker. I was sweetly surprised at his transparency in answering critical personal questions. But I just hate people who smoke, but party drinking is acceptable. G carried no ego at all, but I expect a small measure of ego to be there in all – to make a perfect personality.

And finally as we reached back home, we had a bunch of visitors – the crowd had a mix of females, guys, young and a few senior citizens. G was surprised to see such a big crowd. But I took pains of introducing each one of them to G. He chatted with them for couple of minutes and started to squirm in his seat. I knew his discomfort was growing, but requested him to spend few more minutes with them. But he signaled that he could not and started to move out. The set up was not as perfect as desired to measure his X Quotient. G’s indignation, restlessness and inability to sit through for around 30 minutes with an unknown crowd, made me feel disappointed. In such a set up I could just go and on and debate and chat endlessly and I expect my “man” to have the same quality. I had to tick him off – almost. G bid bye and moved on. The crowd was just a set up that I had arranged to test G on X Quotient! Even the Auto Driver was a set up of mine!! The beggar girl alone was a natural fit.

At the end of the day, G was not a perfect match, I thought. I was happy that I carried out the tests on the sly and never did G suspect that he was being S.E.X. tested! Full marks to me!!!

Similarly the next week I invited Mr. A. A failed the temperament test, with Auto Driver. A just threw the initially agreed fare of Rs. 50 and moved on. A grew so wild that I had to fetch him a water bottle to cool him down. In fact I became so nervous that I ended the mall visit with a cup of coffee and returned home quickly. But to my surprise, A spent hours with the set up crowd at home, endlessly bringing out topics for discussion with ease. He had a very good debating ability that floored me. He carried a moderate ego, I could judge this when he was discussing and debating issues with the crowd. But A was not as transparent as G. When queried about his past, he never revealed his cancerous medical complications, which he suffered and recovered. I knew this, because the Report from the Private Security Agency that we had set up to gather personal background information of these 3 guys.

At the end of the day I was in a dilemma. G was shy and did not score well in X Quotient, while A fared poorly in S Quotient.

Similarly the next week, at the appointed hour Mr. S arrived and we went to the mall as usual. S scored well in the S and X Quotients but carried a large Ego. On just asking him about his large tummy, he got annoyed and went to the extent of scorning me. Mr. S was the wealthiest among the 3 and G had no wealth at all, while A was moderately rich and had the best physical appearance among the 3.

I went to dad, with my findings and told him that I was not fully satisfied. He was perplexed. But after carefully listening to me, he told me that we have seen 120 profiles and short-listed 3 – this itself, he told me, only the luckiest would get to handle. He told me that generally people get around 20-30 and settle with one. I was convinced when I tried calling up the Web Portal’s local office and confirm what dad told me.

I brooded for a week and I thought in the current context, wealth mattered most and hence I gave First Priority to Mr. S, even though he carried a large ego. My second priority was Mr. A, because he had moderate wealth with the best physical appearance among the three, but scored poorly in S Quotient. Last came Mr. G, because he had least wealth and also carried a shy personality with average physical appearance, scoring least in the X Quotient.

I took my judgment to dad and over dinner, we discussed. Surprise of surprises, dad was very appreciative of my efforts. Dad, skipped office the next day to sit on the Test Results. After spending almost half a day, he came to me with his judgment.

Dad’s first choice was Mr. G. I was surprised. He told me that Transparency and Attitude mattered most and wealth mattered least at this stage of these young ones. He told me that Wealth could be earned, looks could be brought upon, Shyness could be treated-out, but reversing a negative-complex-attitude and Ego in a person is a Herculean task. Wealth and Ego goes hand in hand and, the ego of a wealthy person can destroy even the universe. What is the guarantee that this would not wreck your marriage? Thus he justified his first choice. I agreed with his choice and judgment – like any other daughter. But I was happy that dad considered my Test Results to arrive at his judgment. We also reviewed positive reports from Private Detectives, that we had contracted, and the Medical Reports on HIV and general health. Dad too was very appreciative of my tiring and relentless efforts in this process. And, if at all something has to go wrong from here, it would be GOD’s wish.

We arranged our wedding in about 2 months and thus came G into my life.

About a week after the marriage we planned for a short honeymoon. G was still shy and honeymoon was very much a necessity under the circumstances. We spent the whole day roaming around Ooty and came back to our room after a great dinner. On the bed, late in the night, when we were skin-2-skin, I enticed G sensuously. When my excitation peaked, I groped for his Hidden Treasure – The Arousal under his boxers – but in vain. I was shattered to the core. I yelled for a moment. With tears rolling down my eyes, I slowly increased the light intensity of the Table Lamp; only to see more tears rolling down the cheeks of G.

Sindhu