Dheerga Sumangali Bhava

Greetings!

The nadaswaram was being played with utmost precision and perfection, women were all decked up in their best collections of dharmavaram pattu saree, men were all in their exotic best in their sparkling white n white shirt n dhoti, small girls were in their exotic best with their multi-colored traditional half-saree with jasmine adoring their young and long tresses and the whole atmosphere was gala at its best. It was the perfect traditional wedding set-up one could ever wish for…

Preethi was getting married to her distant relative Prem. Prem was not only a distant relative but also a childhood friend of Preethi. The marriage was nevertheless an arranged-marriage. Prem was working for a small company as an Engineer. Preethi had just finished her graduation in Commerce and was full of dreams of a happy wedded life.

When the Muhurtham time arrived, the archakar shouted getti-melam---getti-melam and with the perfection of a symphony, all the musicians sitting across started trumpeting their nadaswaram and tabla with a high pitch and Prem tied the “thali” around Preethi’s ever-inviting neck. While Preethi was all smiles and tears, Prem was all smiles whilst bundle of nerves. The rituals went on for another hour and the couple was set free to move around.

Preethi went into the bride’s room in the mantap and met with all the relatives who had arrived from near and far-off places and hours flew by the minutes and days flew by the hours and months flew by the days. Any progress? Any progress? Questioned near and dear ones started asking Preethi. Did you check-up with a doctor? And what not – all sorts of assumptions were being made adding to the mental agony for Preethi.

It was Prem and Preethi who knew the reasons. Prem mentioned that since he was not very well off – they could have a child when he was fit-enough meaning when he gets into a good job with a good salary. Preethi agreed.

After a year or so, Prem moved into a better job with a better salary. Their happiness knew no bounds. They went for their real honeymoon to Ooty for a week. Preethi went to all those temples which she had visited earlier, to pray for a better break for Prem, to thank all those Gods now.

As months passed by, Preethi felt it was the right time to get into a new home of their own; de-linking Prem’s aged parents all alone. She justified saying it was the right time to set up a family of their own – disconnecting the dependence of Prem on his father. For this proposal to go nuclear, Prem disagreed saying he wanted to have a fat bank balance. Preethi never agreed to this – saying a small loan at this stage would not seem such a big burden.

Preethi instead of convincing Prem and father-in-law, protested vehemently. Neither Prem nor his father could understand her motivation to go nuclear. Preethi confided in me that she enjoyed very little freedom at home; she could not understand Prem the extent she liked; she mentioned that even to go for a weekend movie, Prem would invite his parents; she had to labor at home with the daily chores; she felt constrained when her college friends wanted to visit her for a day or two – because her in-laws protested; never a day passed by without a stinker of a comment on her cooking; in short she felt out-of-place. She never felt the homely feeling that she enjoyed at her parents home.

On repeated pleadings by Prem, Preethi mentioned that Prem’s brother and his wife were making nasty comments about them being dependent on his father. In actual, Prem was the one who was taking care of all the household expenses. So the impression of Prem and Mrs. Prem depending on Prem’s father’s pension was just a false-notion. Despite Prem’s pleadings for couple of month’s time, Preethi, never agreed.

On getting a loan from a bank, Prem and Preethi, moved into a rented apartment. As days passed by, life in the new nuclear home became monotonous. Preethi lost zest in life for unknown reasons and that reflected in her cooking and other household chores. Despite Prem asking for reasons, she never replied straight. She started yelling at Prem. Prem was confused. Prem adjusted to the new scenario with the greatness of a true sage and moved on. When there was food at home, he had – without protesting on poor-taste or poor-quality of preparation.

I wondered what else Prem could do. Now when I asked Preethi – she was my schoolmate and we have been together for more than a decade now – she never replied straight. But with me and our other common friends, she showed no change. She was as bubbly as she has ever-been. But the problems in marriage showed up in her sharp reactionary comments and attitude in life. But she did mention that the way she chatted for hours with Prem before marriage, was missing now. She mentioned that she had expected that she would be chatting more with Prem after marriage and the quality and content of chats would be much more deeper and more meaningful. She wondered whatever happened to that. Words were not there to blurt out; neither were they finding any topics of mutual interest to discuss.

When I asked Prem, if there was any problem in marriage – “Problems? No, No way.” Prem was as charming as he has ever been. But for some strange reasons, the charm between Prem and Preethi, vanished for reasons not known to the outside world.

Preethi, are you upset that you don’t have a kid? - I asked mildly but in the straightest possible manner. She kept mum and never replied. When I fired the same question to Prem – “No. No way. When I cannot take care of my own needs and dreams, there is no way can I have a child” – was the straight reply. Did you convince Preethi on this aspect? – “Yes” was another straight reply. I wondered the reasons for the chemistry to vanish between them. All the elements of normal marriage were missing between them.

Prem was getting all the more frustrated seeing his friends and colleagues happily married and having fun in life. He felt that there was no fun in life without a good marriage and that there was an end to all problems. In this case, he thought the best was to get a divorce. Preethi also, apparently, felt the same – but never opened her mind on this contentious issue called “divorce”.

“Preethi, will you accept a divorce?” – I asked her. She thundered “What the hell? Are you trying to break my marriage? Do you have any vested interest in breaking my marriage? - And all hell broke loose. I did not pursue further in this matter and left her alone.

Prem was fed up with the marriage and he felt that there was no way he could continue like this forever. Hence he approached his dad saying he wanted to divorce. To his dismay, his father replied straight – “Take a vacation and come back. Everything will be alright”.

When Prem approached his mother – she passed away with a massive heart attack.

Behind Prem’s charming smiles were hidden all the dejections that one could ever have in a failed marriage. But none in the outside world could ever guess this.

Prem’s dad stuck to his position and said that problems in marriage are all common. Divert your attention from this issue for few days and everything will become OK. Prem was disgusted with this reply and vowed that he never would come back to his father seeking help or guidance.

Though embarrassing, very reluctantly he approached his aunt to help him. But in vain. When he approached his elder brother, he just laughed away the matter, saying – “Baby, c’mon you are too young to talk big things like divorce. It will be a shame on our entire family if you even mention the word divorce outside these four walls – imagine the depths of shame if you divorce – go go. Take a vacation and come back; everything will be alright.”

Prem, a shy and God-fearing person by nature did not have the guts to rock the boat, in a single mighty stroke.

Months passed by and the chemistry that existed between Prem and Preethi before marriage never returned – according to both Prem and Preethi. Prem felt highly disgusted and even thought of committing suicide.

Prem was cheerful as ever and when he invited me for a dinner – I agreed reluctantly. He took me to a five star hotel. “Why did you not invite Preethi?” “To hell with her. Don’t get her name here. I just came to relax and wanted to have a peaceful dinner – sans crowd.” “Ok… cool down. I bet you will have the dinner of your lifetime tonight” I cheered him. While having food…He cribbed – “I have cleared the personal loan; acquired a Car; acquired all the fancy items that I had dreamt for many years now; also acquired a small apartment of my own; but I am getting frustrated in life despite all these positives. I did not buy all these on my own volition – it was Preethi who egged me to each one of these. Now still she is not content and I don’t know what else she wants. Apparently she herself is confused. I feel like killing her. None in the family are coming to my rescue – no one wants to help me. I am frustrated.” Seeing him in a very dejected and charged up mood, I thought it was better he stay away from Preethi for the weekend for a change. So I invited him to my apartment.

In the apartment, passions ran high when Prem was narrating his sad stories. I was completely overwhelmed listening to his tragedy in life – when I came back to senses we were on the sofa au-naturel. I saw Prem deep in sleep. I slept back. The next morning, with a sense of guilt, I had my longest bath ever. A while later…“Prem…Prem get up – it’s already nine.” Finding no response from Prem, I shook his head…but his head was hanging with saliva out and…he was gone forever.

I was shattered to the core; carrying the unbearable pain in the heart and confusion in my mind; I went back to Kerala to be with my ever-loving parents; and stayed there for few years.

When I came to Chennai on an occasion, I thought of calling-on Preethi. There she was…sitting alone in a dark room, playing with a doll. “Preethi, do you recognize me?” Staring at me like a wounded tiger, she whispered – “Why am I alive. Kill me…Kill me…”. Clutching the doll she cried, “This is my daughter. Her father is Prem. Do you know?”

I called out “Sada..sada…” Came running my 9 year old daughter Sada…With tears rolling down my eyes, I was shattered beyond control and comprehension. Sada is the living memory of that portentous day with Prem…

Sindhu

India: Women’s Reservation Bill – An Alternative

Greetings!

When I posted my “India Under Siege” many of my critic friends mentioned that posting facts alone in a blog would not solve an Issue. There was sense in what they said. Taking up the challenge I hereby propose an alternative for the “Women’s Reservation Bill” that has been hanging for decades.

Any workable and acceptable proposal should address the following point:
1. Should NOT disturb or affect the current politicians even in the slightest way.
2. The political space should be for GENUINELY interested Women to Contest.
3. The voters of the Parliamentary Constituency should back the Contesting Woman.
4. The contesting woman should be able to contest without an iota of Muscle Power and Money Power.

The current Bill in its present form is flawed – according to the political bosses – because they have to make way for women to contest and also provide muscle power and money power to make their “chosen” “dummy” woman to win. Women are present in every constituency and hence which constituency to reserve is a moot question with no answers – there is opposition even to the proposal to rotate the women’s constituency every election, by draw of lots. Mulayam’s point is to have a quota of 20% for women – because he says with Reservation for SCs/STs and others, additional 33% would leave only 50% of the seats for general category – and these seats are not reserved for exclusively for men!

Hence I have a proposal that addresses the 4 points mentioned above:
1. Women should contest in large numbers across the Nation the usual way.
2. Women who secure 33% of votes secured by the Winning Candidate are considered to be “Genuinely Backed” by the Voters in the Constituency for Parliament. For example if the winning candidate [this can be a woman also] has 100 votes, if a Woman has secured minimum 33 votes, then she is the “Genuinely Backed” woman for the Parliament. If a woman has secured 90 votes, then she is the “Woman Winner”
3. Prepare a List of all such “Women Winners” across the Nation.
4. Now every State should be given 33% of the Parliament seats to “Genuinely Backed” Women. Hence if a State has 30 Parliament Seats then this State should be allotted 10 seats for “Genuinely Backed” Women from this State.
5. The Parliament Speaker can select the “Women Winners” from each of the State to the Parliament.
6. Coming to the Exceptions:
a. If the State has more than 33% “Women Winners”: Meaning if a State has 10 seats for “Women Winners” and if there are 14 “Women Winners” then the Top 10, based on number of votes, would be the “Real Winners”.
b. If a State has no “Women Winners”: Better Luck Next Time. By which time we could have fine-tuned and popularized the system.

This way, I feel, we can fill up the Parliament with 33% of women who are Genuinely backed by the Electorate and also possibility of “Money Power and Muscle Power” is narrowed down to a great extent. This does not disturb the current configuration – dominated by Men. The advantage is that all the Parliament Seats are open to Women.

Last but not the least, these Women Winners who succeed in getting into Parliament should have the same rights as that of MPs and treated accordingly.

I have NOT come across anyone proposing a model on similar lines. Any Comments? Are you Game for this Model?

Sindhu

India Under Siege

Greetings!

Here I am blogging on systemic inefficiencies that prevails in our system, with which we interact closely on a daily basis.

Corruption & Black Money:

Corruption has become a way of life in India. People earning crores through suspect means do not pay taxes and the Black Money thus generated runs into thousands of crores.

So much has been written about Corruption – and I guess nothing more can be written on this. Recently President Abdul Kalam too voiced his concern on this subject. Corruption exists at all levels of Governance.

The crawling Judicial System aids Corruption. How is that only Corruption, Civil
and Crime & Terrorism Cases takes years for a judicial ruling, while political cases takes much less time? I remember reading a news-item recently - the pending cases in courts in India would require 360 years to complete the trial. I am amused when I come across arguments based on Laws written in 1850s. I fail to understand why have we not re-written laws to suit our current needs and times. Our Laws can be ONLY INTERPRETED by our honorable Lawyers/Judges and NOT UNDERSTOOD by common man. Heights-of-Inefficiency? Huh!

How is that a road laid in the interiors of cities and towns gets washed away in few weeks of usage and those that are laid in the VIP zones lasts much longer and also gets topped at slightest of damage? Are millions of Indians paying taxes for ensuring the High Quality of Life of VIPs? Who is to inspect the quality of roads that are laid in our neighborhood – Is it not a criminal offence on the part of Government – if the roads peel off within few weeks of laying or at the first drizzle? If all roads were to last minimum 5 years, by now I guess, the entire Nation could have been provided with roads.

I fail to understand what made us Indians to become so tolerant to mediocrity – not just in politics, but in every other sphere.

Parallel Governments:

A virtual parallel system runs in India – by Naxalites, Rowdies and Terrorists. Crores of Rupees are spent on the “talks” with Pakistan “Dignitaries” that takes place ever so often. This has been going on for decades. Will this go on till Kashmir is consumed by the Himalayas? Are we so incapable to solve an Issue for 50 Years? How can we be indecisive for 50 long Years?

It was said that Verappan not only sold Sandalwood illegally in India but also exported. Can a one-man army living in deep-jungles accomplish the business tasks that he successfully carried out?

I wonder if virtual parallel Governments aid to the cause of efficiency?

Religious Laws:

Crores of Rupees are spent on Inquiry Commissions and Study Commissions. What happens to these Reports? The politically sensitive ones alone are either leaked to the media deliberately or presented officially. We have seen how two commissions, constituted by NDA and UPA Governments to go into the “Train Accident” in Gujarat few years ago, came out with diametrically opposing conclusions. How do we trust the Government of the day?

I am skeptical about the timing of the release of the Sachar committee report on Muslims. There are lots of numbers in the report that suits not Muslims but Congress Party. The saying - Statistics is like a Micro-Skirt, revealing the maximum, but not the actual thing – holds true for today’s “Commission Reports” on Religions and Castes. While sexy, alluring and romantic lingerie teases men with hidden promise, these “Commission Reports” tease our political parties – the hidden promise being Vote-Bank. I wonder how the Muslims [Moguls] who invaded [1526 – Babar] and ruled India till about 1858, spanning more than 300 years - became backward after Independence. I do not know if British had any specific policies to make Muslims backward in India. Definitely Independent India never had any specific policies to make Muslims backward in India. So the so-called backwardness of Indian Muslims is sounds hollow – don’t we have all the Kingly Khans in Bollywood, Prince of Arcot, Nawab of Pataudi Mansur Ali Khan, Wipro’s Aziz Premji, Shabana Azmi, Najma Heptullah, President Abdul Kalam, Azharuddin, Kirmani, etc have indeed occupied high positions in India in their respective chosen fields. We do have Universities, Colleges and Schools for Muslims – with tax exemption. So the current Indian system allows people to grow – irrespective of Religion. It is imperative to mention here that, it is the systemic inefficiency that plays havoc across religions and framing policies on religious basis is a highly regressive measure.

When will our Government say – Only 50% of Indians are literate, only 30% are Graduates and 80% of Women Graduates are Housewives – and frame Policies and Procedures for Indians per-se.

Different Laws exist for Marriage and Divorce - based on religion. I do not know if any other democracy follows this practice.

I wonder if it is efficient to have exclusive but conflicting National Laws on Education, Employment, Terrorism, Marriage and Divorce, on Religion grounds?

Political Freebies:

The Tamil Nadu Government is doling out color TVs, Free Land, etc to “certain” people. Color TVs were purchased at Rs.2950 per piece with Tax Payers’ money. I do not want to hazard a guess on ONE benefit to the taxpayer or the recipients of Color TVs or the Government; at the most it benefits the Political Party to seek votes in future elections.

Post Panchayat and Corporation Elections in Tamil Nadu, we have illiterates as Mayors, Deputy Mayors, Panchayat Heads, etc. Don’t we need imaginative, erudite persons of high caliber who can independently apply their minds as Mayors and Deputy Mayors for our fast growing Metros and Towns? In short don’t we need Social Scientists in positions of power?

I, for one would not like to blame the current set of politicians for lack of space in the political arena for genuine citizens. It is we who keep harping on this subject ever so often – without attempting to “act proactively”; the root cause of this, I personally feel, is the lack of networking among the like-minded people.

Can we demand a quota of 10% for fresh genuine, non-corrupt citizens in the political arena? This reminds me of Swami Vivekananda’s famous quote that I read this morning - Live for an ideal, and that one ideal alone. Let it be so great, so strong, that there may be nothing else left in the mind; no place for anything else, no time for anything else – Do we have a single politician who can be associated with this quote in the right-sense. Of course in the wrong sense every politician can be associated with this quote – if making money is the first ideal, the second one is to transfer the political baton to another member in the family, for most of the politicians.

I wonder if it furthers the cause of efficiency to have illiterates as Heads in a Democratic set-up - making illogical, often retrograde decisions.

Leakage of Funds:

Inefficient PSUs, PSEs, Government Departments and Public-Distribution Systems waste thousands of crores of Rupees due to inherent systemic inefficiencies. Millions spent on Social Welfare schemes hardly reaches the intended beneficiaries. Much has been written on funds swindled by corrupt NGOs.

Today the Tamil Nadu Chief Minister stated that the Government would recruit 30,000 Typists and Stenographers – the Seniority in the Registration at the Employment Exchanges being the sole criteria for selection - apart from caste based reservation. In this Computerized Era, why recruit typists – that too in thousands. Who is to question the Government?

Crores of Tax Payers’ money is spent on Infrastructure Projects – The cost escalation of delayed, abandoned and cancelled projects run into thousands of crores of rupees. You would have definitely seen small bridges and flyovers being constructed for years, which can actually be constructed in 2-3 months if genuine efforts are put in with correct planning, execution and management. Is anyone calculating all these losses? Even if I calculate whom do I report to?

Recently, our Finance Minister, P Chidambaram stated – “If tax compliance increases, tax rate would be reduced” – which means we [including compliant Corporates] tax payers are paying taxes for our cheating neighbors too? Shame.

When Tsunami struck Tamil Nadu – an efficient Collector, J Radhakrishnan handled the crisis very efficiently and got all round praises from all sections of society and Government. Former USA President Bill Clinton described him as “An efficient young man with the Right Attitude”. It was Radhakrishnan who also handled the Fire Tragedy in a Primary School in Kumbakonam, which consumed 94 innocent kids. When the present DMK Government took over, he was shifted out – apparent unwritten reason – The collector worked efficiently and earned accolades for the previous Jayalalithaa Government! Are we a Nation that punishes true efficiency by bureaucrats? I sometimes feel if we install Governments to govern paragons of inefficiency!

Most salaried Indians – especially people who work within the confines of Office – genuinely never put in 8 hours of work a day – while women folk spend time in café and chatting in seats for couple of hours each day; men folk spend hours at café, smoking zones and chatting-up with friends and colleagues during “Office Hours” – if these hours are considered as Non-Productive, then the productive hours would definitely be less than 6 hours a day each.

I strongly believe there is lot of scope to improve efficiencies by taking right decisions and changing our attitudes a wee-bit.

Product Pricing Inefficiencies:

Nothing can be more exorbitantly priced than products of daily usage/consumption like Toothpaste, Toothbrush, Lights and Bulbs. The cost for 150 grams of toothpaste is around Rs.50 and I can guesstimate the actual product cost to be around 1/5th of MRP.

Likewise the manufacturing cost of a Toothbrush would not be more than Rs.2/ and a bottle of cola Rs.0.5. We pay for the costs of Sachins and Bachans of India! Is it warranted or worth the money?

Last week I got a shocker of a DSL Bill from BSNL. My browsing Bill was Rs.1750 in addition to the minimum of Rs.250 for 400 MB internet-traffic. The first thing I did was to check my traffic. It was a mind-boggling 1.6GB+. Upon analysis I found that most of the websites had increased the number of flashy images, Flash-Ads and Videos. I pondered and thought it was not worth paying Rs.2000 per month for browsing alone. The first option that struck me was to switch to Rs.900 per month plan, which allowed unlimited internet-traffic. Again I pondered and wondered if that was worth it? I decided to continue my 250-Plan with reduced traffic. So I uninstalled Macromedia Flash Player; and installed Firefox Browser. In the browser, I disabled Images. Now the websites, including Sulekha, looks bland without the flashy ads – but I have no complaints. Seldom has the ads on websites helped me in any way. So why pay for ads that adds no value to my browsing? I don’t know if you will agree, but I stick to my plan.

You might know that 95% of electric power is converted into wasted heat energy and only 5% of electric energy is converted into Light – it is the light that we use and not the heat energy. If incandescent bulb operates at 5% efficiency, fluorescent lamps operate at 20% efficiency. India may be power surplus country if Indian engineers design more efficient bulbs and prevent the 50% losses/theft that take place in the Transmission and Distribution System – meaning if we produce Rs.100 worth of electricity; we bill [including free power] only for Rs.50 or less – the rest is unbilled due to power theft and T&D Losses.

We pay Rs.600 for a branded T-Shirt that costs Rs.300 in a small shop for the same/equivalent brand. We pay the extra cost for Car Park facilities and 100s of tube-lights inside – provided by the swanky mall and branded Retail Stores. I believe we should be paying 95% for the product and 5% for the additional facilities?

When I was earning Rs.5000 per month, a 2 room flat sold at Rs.5 Lacs at a distance of 5 Kilometers. I used to dream that I would buy that flat when I earned Rs.10,000 per month. But when I earned Rs.10K per month, a similar flat cost Rs.10 Lacs, 10 Kms away. When I earned 20k per month, it is 30 Lacs at a distance of 18 Kms. How is that real estate is always out-of-reach of middle class? I don’t know if I am inefficient, not to earn more, or are the real estate agents more efficient.

I am reminded of the Life Insurance Policy that my dad had taken twenty years back - Sum Assured Rs.50,000. It seems he thought, that Rs.50K, would take care of his major expenses post retirement. Now it looks like 50K may just be sufficient for his cremation!

Recently a friend of mine got married and together the families spent close to Rs.20 Lacs towards marriage expenses. Close to Rs.5000 was spent on lingerie alone! On the first day of the married life the couple were Rs.15 Lacs in debt. For the pleasure of spending - why spend what you don’t have?

To restate - Inefficiency has pervaded every sphere of life. My neighbor fell sick with high fever and body pain and got admitted to a nearby neighborhood private nursing home. At the end of one week at hospital and spending Rs.40K, she was close to normal - the Doctors then concluded that the symptoms did not relate to Chickungunya! Vasool Raja of a Doctor, Huh!

Imagine the happiness of farmers at their prosperity if productivity is doubled in our Agricultural Lands by implementing latest farming technology. If we eliminate the middlemen in the agricultural sector, the price realization for the farmer increases manifold and for the end-consumer the price comes down considerably, making the whole nation a much happier nation.

Six months back I complained that my Toshiba TV had some problems – Bluish Screen and Non-Working Remote – The call was registered in the month of March 2006 and to this day it has not been rectified. Despite having many Communication Channels, efficiency has not improved in our Service Sector to the extent desired. What ails – I wonder? I truly believe, if we improve efficiencies, Indians can have better quality of life.

My idiot of a boss, scratching his balls and digging gold from his nose, ever so continuously, complains that I am inefficient. When I retort that the system makes me inefficient – I cite that Abdul Kalam and Manmohan Singh being not just part of the system but heading systems, have turned inefficient, doling out speeches with no concrete action - he counters, saying, I am the system and I am part of the system! To which system does he belong to? I believe this is the bane across spectrums in India – everyone expects the other to improve the system! And preachings galore!

Are we a Nation Under Siege – besieged by Inefficiency?

Sindhu

Thank You - America

Greetings!

Thanks Giving Day in America is celebrated on the Fourth Thursday of November. That’s Re-Stating the fact. The First Official Thanks Giving Day in America, it seems, was celebrated in 1619 and the tradition has continued till this day. Though the event has been commercialized by the Business Houses, the emotional string around the “Thanks Giving Day” still runs thick among Americans.

The origin of “Thanks Giving” has got many accounts. But by far the most commonly cited is that of pilgrims, who landed in Virginia Colony, in extreme winter did not know how to cook food and also survive the winter. At this critical juncture, Squanto, an Indian, taught them how to catch eel, grow corn and who served as an interpreter for them (Squanto had learned English on a previous trip to Europe). Without Squanto's help the Pilgrims might not have survived in the new world. The Pilgrims set apart a day to celebrate at Plymouth immediately after their first harvest, in 1621. At the time, this was not regarded as a Thanksgiving observance. As years passed by, the grandness of the Event increased. [Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org]. Once again this is Re-Stating the Fact.

I read that most of the Asians, in USA, do not celebrate “Thanks Giving Day” with the same fervor as the Americans do. Since the event falls on a Thursday, many take leave and have a Long Weekend – and spend time the way they would normally do on a long weekend. It seems, strangely, the migrant population does not even wish the Americans, warmly on the event. That’s sad reading, indeed.

Should India and Indians not be Grateful to American Business and Americans?

It was because of pirated versions of Windows 95 that were freely available - that many got initiated into computers in the mid-nineties. Coupled with the ingenuity of Indian PC Assemblers computers started invading homes. It was the Americans who brought in high salary structures into Indian IT sector and popularized the IT industry in India. I can’t recall any big European or Australian or Russian making the first moves in Indian job market in a big way. Though Y2K problem was there across continents, it is the Americans who came calling to India, for our Engineers, during the late nineties and this gave an opportunity to thousands of Indians to make USA home for the rest of their life.

It was the Americans who first started Big-Ticket-Investments in India in setting up businesses, which generated employment in hundreds with a pleasant working environment. Apart from Cola giants, Ford, GM, Gillette, Pizza Houses, etc., stormed India. It was the American VC Funding for many thousands of small organizations in India that helped generate employment to many thousands in BPOs, Call Centers and ITES sectors.

To restate the fact - the concept of Internet was first explored successfully by the Defense Department in USA. It was American Business Houses that first started the concept of mass outsourcing of jobs and globalization.

Americans in general are very courteous, warm and wish. I have seen many Americans visiting our Office, showing utmost respect to us – be it while opening the entrance door or making way in the Lift. Many even give a pleasant smile and greet, even though we have not been formally introduced to them.

Folks in IT get paid Rs.2000+ [approx] per day [Avg: Rs.50K per month – 22 Working Days per month]. It is this that helps the young ones to lead Five Star Life or Kingly Life or Flashy Lifestyle in India – Weekend Parties, Swanky Apartments, Annual Exotic Tours, etc. American Tax Payers/Consumers play a very major role albeit indirectly.

I found it strange not to come across a single report in Newspapers or Websites - of these young ones in IT - Thanking Americans; BTW showing basic courtesy is conspicuously absent in our culture – but at least can we not express our Collective Gratitude to America and Americans in General. I particularly include Americans because they have been highly magnanimous to accept lay-offs and facing the consequences of job-loss.

I scream – Thank You America

Sindhu

Requiem for Marriages

Greetings!

Couple of years back my brother, Ram, got into a MNC and now he is working as a Project Manager in the same Organization.

Last night, while having dinner, dad raised the ubiquitous topic of his marriage. Every time when this topic is brought up Ram would evade a direct answer and escape. Now dad was more serious and wanted a direct confirmative answer from Ram.

“Dad, I do not want to get married at all” thundered Ram. Dad was shocked. “Dad, No doubt, I was interested in getting married. But actually I also had a Live-In Arrangement in my mind. That is the reason, I was dragging on the issue, all these days” said Ram. “But unfortunately I did not come across any female who was willing for a live-in arrangement. Hence the delay dad.”

“Ok. I understand, but now why are you saying that you do not want to get married at all. It is a heart breaking decision to hear from you. What prompted you to arrive at such a negative decision? Don’t you believe in the institution called marriage? Your mother and me are married for the last 30 years successfully” asked dad. “Yes dad, now I do not want to get married at all. Neither am I interested in a Live-In relationship with anyone” said Ram.

“In a year Sindhu too should get married. So it is important that you get married now, so that we can be ready for her marriage” counseled Dad. Looking at mom, dad shouted “Hey what are you standing like a buffalo. Advice him.”

Ram yelled back, “I do not want to argue with mom anymore. I do not want to talk to her at all. I do not want to speak to Sindhu either.” We were all shocked and awed by Ram’s yell. What ever happened to him I wondered.

“No. Nothing happened to me. I am just afraid of the new Domestic Violence Act” said Ram. “I do not want to go to jail on false complaints. I do not want you, Dad, to land up in Jail too. I do not want to risk my life and career for getting married. Marriage is just a thing of the past. Marriage is dead in my dictionary. Why even a Live-In relationship is dead in my dictionary”

“Why? Why are you so afraid my son?”

Ram gave the following explanation with examples under which, a policeman can arrest him and possibly Dad, with a Non-Bailable Arrest Warrant, based on a complaint by Ram’s [future] wife under provisions of Section 498A.

1. If I disagree to her wish to set up a nuclear family – separating from you people.
2. If I disagree when she gets all her sisters and stays at my house at my cost.
3. If I disagree when she wants to go to a cinema.
4. If I cannot drop her at her office daily
5. If I disapprove of her decision to quit her job.
6. If I cannot get a job and unable to feed her, and take care of lifestyle expenses.
7. If I ask her to wash a plate that she used.
8. I don’t have a choice to divorce her, unless I part with all my earnings and wealth and maintain her all through her lifetime – despite clinching a divorce after, may be 10 years of my struggle and torture at her hands.
9. Finally, I can go to jail if I cannot get “into-the-mood”, when she wants!

“Now tell me dad, each one of the above is considered Domestic Violence someway or the other. Would you risk going to jail on a non-bailable arrest warrant, even though you know that you are innocent; and that you know your wife is framing you? --- I did not burn midnight oil to get through JEE; get into IIT; and then get into IIM-A after 2 years of preparation; and struggled to get a job in MNC; braved extreme winter in USA for 2 years to accumulate a small fortune --- just to get into a Central Jail on a one line complaint from my wife of 1 week. Even Terrorists are getting Bailable Arrest Warrants these days. Supreme Court declared terrorists get Mercy these days. Why Nalini – involved in Rajiv Gandhi assassination – has ‘rightfully’ appealed to set her free. My wife can marry me; enjoy honeymoon; and then within a week make a complaint to the police under Section 498A and ask for my entire wealth; and who knows part of your wealth too. Then we both may have to take a bowl and beg in Central Railway Station. Do you want that to happen, just because you want me to get married?”

Dad was totally confused at the brilliance of Ram’s argument. Mom and me were totally aghast. I wanted to protest and Googled to find points to argue that Ram was one-sided; exaggerating to the core; and his understanding was misplaced. But I failed to get any.

I was giggling inside me that at last there was a law in India that protected women from all violence; why even small pinpricks could be termed Domestic Violence. I concealed my delight with great difficulty.

After about a week, dad suggested that I get married first. I told him that I would consult G. G and myself are in love for the past 3 years. To my astonishment G also argued like Ram and told me bluntly that he was neither interested in Marriage nor Live-In relationship – fearing provisions of Sections 498A in DV Act. Dad and Mom were too were surprised and warned me. I was aghast and told G to “f***-Off forever.”

Dad told me to register my profile in couple of popular marriage web portals. I did so and waited for many weeks and there was no response. I was surprised. I started to send my profile to the registered Grooms. But again there was no response from any of the Grooms from any of the portals.

I called up each of the portal centers to find out the reason. The portal owner said all Grooms with good education; decent wealth and little common sense have decided not to marry.

But he asked me, “Madam, would you like to marry a confirmed beggar living in a slum on the banks of stinking Cooum River?”

Sindhu

Dreams n Disappointments

Greetings!

Life is a paradox. When we consider the dreams and actual experience, there always exists a gap – either small or big – invariably.

Lets consider some of the major milestones during our lifetime, when we dream of certain expectations from our “actions”.

1. Dreams on Joining a School

The paradox of expectations and experience in life starts, I feel, when a child is about to join a school. Most children are extremely eager to get into a school and when they reach the school, they start crying and start protesting at his/her mother to return back home with her. Something runs through the mind of the child that is unexplainable by the parents and the child is just not mature enough to express the feelings in words. This return-to-home-with-mom feeling exists for couple of weeks, but the attachment with the school grows gradually, when the fun-factor in the school increases. Over a period of time, the child gets ready even before the mom gets ready and leads the mom while walking to the school in the morning.

2. Dreams on Joining a College

By the time we finish schooling and are ready to enter a college we are more mature. We are eager to get into a college and the feeling that we are almost adults is a new pleasant feeling that we cherish for a long time. We also dream and expect a lot from college life. The paradox starts when you join a college without the company of a known schoolmate. The first few days you feel lonely; even though you are in the midst of 50+ students in the classroom. You do not know where to start and whom to make friends with. Slowly and steadily you get to know almost all the classmates and then life starts. You get few best-friends too in the process.

For most the college experience is a pleasant one filled with many small “events” that are treasured for a long time. As you near the end of the college life, you feel you should have born a year or two later. During the College Day celebrations, in your final year, you once again tend to feel lonely, because you are pretty sure that all the best friends come from different cities and are likely to go back to their respective homes.

Once you complete your Final exams you are pretty sure that you are not likely to see your best friends’ faces the next morning. That is a very hard feeling that takes many weeks to get over. There may be times when you feel that you should have been born with those friends, so that you could live with them forever.

If you are “in love” with a schoolmate then the Final Day of the exams are the hardest day and the longest day in your life. You are so used to seeing your “love” every morning and now you know that you cannot meet your “love” the next morning. The heart crackles – resulting in more love towards your “love”. You just cannot imagine the intense feeling of those who were “in love’ but did not express their love to their dream classmate.

3. Dreams on Joining a Job

When we are out of college the hunt for a dream job starts. Of course, nowadays few lucky ones graduate with a job in hand – gotten in the campus interviews. We are more matured now and have more dreams about the job – the good and bad experiences narrated by the seniors shapes our dreams and fears about the new job. On the first day of the job, you feel out of place, like a small child missing its mom when it was mercilessly pushed into a classroom the first time. Similar to that experience of a child, you tend to get out of the workplace as quickly as possible – the itch will all the more be intense, if you do not know a person who is already working in the organization. One quack of a manager can be a spoilsport to all your dreams.

4. Dreams on Falling-in-Love or Marriage

Falling in love is a different experience altogether. You don’t go in search of love and then fall-in-love. It happens either suddenly in many cases or builds up slowly over a period of time. The gestation period for falling-in-love varies between zero minutes to n number of months.

Love during school days is more of infatuation while the same is more of a relationship when we fall-in-love when we are about 22 years of age.

It is a universal fact that around adolescence to adulthood period [age 20 years – Standard Deviation of 2 years] the desire for coitus and motherhood peaks - for females. Even if not, the talk of a probable marriage by parents would lead to desire for coitus and motherhood. It is this factor that pushes many [unwilling] girls into wedlock at this age, in anticipation of a great-married life.

The same is the case for boys during adolescence. But for the boys, the desire is limited to sexperiencing and NOT parenthood or family. But socio-economic factors come into play and hence boys wait till they get into a job, gain confidence, and feel more secure before they agree for a marriage or pushed into wedlock. Even if not interested in coitus, the talk of a probable marriage would lead to desire for coitus. Once again it is this factor forces many [unwilling] guys into wedlock.

The anticipations of a girl/boy before love/marriage are many. Once married, life is joyous and results in parenthood. After the birth of the child – the bundle of joy – life starts meandering for a few years. Invariably we find a degree of dissatisfaction between what we “dreamt” and “experience”. This leads to a small crack in the relationship. In Indian context, the relationship continues “for the sake of child” or “sake-of-society”.

So sacrifices galore on the part of the husband and wife. In most cases, the ‘gap’ is seldom expressed or communicated to the partner. Dreams of a happy married life get shattered within the minds, but the marriage continues. Remember the saying “Love's pleasure lasts but a moment; love's sorrow lasts all through life”.

5. Dreams on Buying a House

Lot of dreams goes into the plans of buying a new house. Hunt for a perfect dream-home starts on an auspicious note. However we end with a package of compromise and we settle for a house based on many other factors.

Finally after buying the house and converting that into our home, we find many small irritating issues cropping up and adding to the list in the compromise package.

We always dream and anticipate something [however small or big] out of our next milestone. It is next to impossible not to dream of expectations out of our “actions”, but with the advent of Internet and access to tons of literature, we need to scale down our expectations to realistic levels. Beware that greater unrealistic anticipations leads to higher anxiety levels.

Invariably, reality is a bit harsh, but we need to overcome the shortcomings, relative to our dreams, and lead a decent and peaceful life. We should remember to say to our own mind the saying - “Tread softly because you tread on my dreams”.

But it is also true that where there are dreams, there are bound to be disappointments. But can we stop dreaming?

What has been your biggest Dream n Disappointment as yet?

Sindhu

The SEX Quotient

Greetings!

This is a story of the intensive efforts of Sindhu in choosing her “arranged” life partner. Read on to find out how she goes about this whole process…

Last year I completed my Graduation in Engineering and Dad slowly started the topic – you guessed it right – Marriage. When he asked me the first time, I gave the reason that millions of us Indians give – what so urgent? I am still very young. As is the case with any Dad, he kept quiet for a few weeks. At every given opportunity he raised this topic and his intensity grew by the weeks. Finally I agreed – with some conditions – The Marriage has to be as per my Wishes, Choice and Tastes. He agreed ad libitum. When I was a kid, lost Mom in a tragic road-accident.

The first step was to register with the most popular matrimonial web portal. The very next hour our telephones were flooded with calls. When we called up the Officer at the portal’s local office, she politely assured me that all callers were genuine indeed, because the portal does verify the credentials like Address and Telephone for correctness and genuineness. My e-mail Inbox too was flooded with around 45 “enquiries”. And the postman too delivered couple of “posts” adorned with Red and Yellow colors gracing the corners of the covers.

I was not only perplexed but was truly amazed at the response. I let past one week without any serious action. And the responses dried out. Though I had a choice to “enquire” registered “bridegrooms” at the portal, I never did that.

That Sunday, to my surprise I received a call from the portal office informing me that they had arranged for a “Kalyana Mela” program – a get together for registered singles. For me it was a “Maapilai Mela” [Maapilai in Tamil means Bridegroom]. I jumped in excitement and informed dad about the program.

That Mela was a week away and I scanned all the 120 profiles that I had received. I short listed about 12 of them and personally telephoned those families requesting them to attend the mela with their bridegrooms.

Dad and me visited the mela. All those whom I had personally invited had arrived, including many other hundreds. I was given a “table” with four chairs. About 20 of them “cold-called” on us and we graciously discussed their profiles too. I short-listed 3 among these and at the end of the day I had to choose one among the 15 prospective profiles.

Dad was very particular that we finished further short-listing quickly before the “heat” died down. So we contacted all the 15 profiles and gave appointments for them to visit us for a “discussion”. Within around 3 weeks I met all 15 of them and most of them in-principle agreed for an alliance with me!

Dad and me rejected 12 of them for various reasons. I had the toughest job to settle one among the 3 on hand. You can imagine the confusion and dilemma a girl faces in this situation – my heart raced – but I told myself that I need to calm down, take time and then make good decision – because this was a once-in-a-lifetime job.

I thought for a week and hit upon a strategy to select one – even though all, apparently, fitted-the-bill. I wanted to make not only a fair & informed decision but also follow a scientific process. I wanted to checkout all critical factors in each of them to aid my decision. Sounds business like? Yes, I am my dad’s daughter – dad was an entrepreneur with reasonable success. Upon dad’s arrival that evening, “Dad I want to measure out the SEX factor in each of the 3 prospective grooms, to aid my decision”, I mentioned. He was aghast and asked what that was. Dad, “S = Sensitive, E = Ego and X = Xenial. I want to measure the Sensitive Quotient, Ego Quotient and Xenial Quotient. I want the “man” not only to be intelligent and brave as you have mentioned, and considered while short-listing these 3, I need the person to score well in the S.E.X tests”, I explained. He laughed his bellyful but gave a disdainful look in the end. I was not worried at his reaction though. “Dad, you played a major role in short-listing, I am now humbly requesting you to give me the freedom to select one among the 3 you have short-listed. Fair Deal right? It is my life and the selection methodology has to be mine - In the interest of you and me too.” I pleaded. He must have seen some reason in my statement, brooded for a while and moved out. He came back to me and asked if S.E.X model was tried elsewhere. I told him, I got the idea originally and Google was never used in the process! Again he gave a scornful look and moved out. After dinner when I pestered for his concurrence, he agreed with a piece of fatherly advice; In addition, he conditioned that, I should be carrying out these on the sly, and, he would not in anyway involve himself in the process. I agreed with butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

The three short-listed ones were Mr. G, Mr. A and Mr. S.

The next evening dad asked me to explain in brief what I meant by those Quotients. I was happy too, to answer that. Sensitive Quotient measures the ability of the person’s sensitiveness towards feelings and circumstances of others [including me]. Ego Quotient pertains to the person’s fair ego complex – I expect the person to have a moderate Ego. Xenial Quotient pertains to the ability of the person to be hospitable with friendly visitors. Though these quotients sound abstract, it’s my discretion to judge on all these factors, I told dad. “Sindhu, what you narrated sounds too theoretical and too childish. I feel you are a bit excited about the whole selection process and I feel it is this excitement that’s making you to invent things. Frankly, I am a bit skeptical on this. I fervently appeal to you - not to mess up things and complicate matters. “Dad, I am your daughter. I understand you. I will be cautious in every step. Believe me. Trust me.” I appealed. “GOD Bless You” blessed dad.

I called Mr. G first one evening. I told him we would go to a shopping mall by Auto-rickshaw. He agreed. We called in an Auto and negotiated Rs.50/- for the drop. When we reached the mall, the Auto Driver demanded Rs.30 more. I stepped aside and allowed G to handle the situation. G got wild, but controlled - he handled the situation diplomatically. He asked the Driver “How many kilometers was the drive?” “5 Kms” replied the Driver. “What is the Government Authorized Fare?” “Rs. 7 per Km” “So actually you should have charged only Rs.35/-, right? But you wanted Rs.50 and we agreed to that. Now why are you demanding more?” “But Sir, petrol costs have increased, traffic was unusually heavy during our drive and because we got stuck in the traffic and lost about an hour – I am demanding Rs.30 more. Per hour, if I don’t earn at least Rs.50, how will I manage my family, Sir?” reasoned the Driver. G was surprised by the Driver’s socio-economic counter! In a composed manner G flashed Rs.65 to the Driver and settled the issue. On studying this – I was very much happy that G had a mind of his own to reason out and also had the ability to understand reasons from the other side of the pond. Not a street fighter but was sensitive enough to understand the difficulties of the driver and also negotiated well to settle at Rs.15 more than Rs.30 demanded by the driver. He demonstrated the right temperament. Full marks to G on this count – S Quotient.

As minutes passed by in the mall, I observed that G was a bit shy/reserved on many counts – a negative factor – understandable - since we had been meeting only for the second time.

As we walked out of the mall, one poor beggar girl tugging a small child approached us, “Ma, feeling hungry. Baby has not eaten anything since morning. Please provide us something.” G immediately dropped a Rs.5 coin in her bowl. I really appreciated this. All the more since, just a few minutes back, when a middle aged woman too begged saying that she lost her way from the bus station and needed cash to go back to village – G deduced that the lady was a cheat.

To test his ego, I asked G why he had poor marks in his university exams. “It was because I spent very little time studying. And moreover I was not gifted with a large brain!” G joked.
I was surprised at this answer. Generally guys reel out many reasons for their failures. “G, I know that you had a crush against a beautiful girl, while in College” – what happened to that? G was taken aback, but he replied that it was true and he failed to charm her enough to win her. He also told me that, he smoked regularly and was a party drinker. I was sweetly surprised at his transparency in answering critical personal questions. But I just hate people who smoke, but party drinking is acceptable. G carried no ego at all, but I expect a small measure of ego to be there in all – to make a perfect personality.

And finally as we reached back home, we had a bunch of visitors – the crowd had a mix of females, guys, young and a few senior citizens. G was surprised to see such a big crowd. But I took pains of introducing each one of them to G. He chatted with them for couple of minutes and started to squirm in his seat. I knew his discomfort was growing, but requested him to spend few more minutes with them. But he signaled that he could not and started to move out. The set up was not as perfect as desired to measure his X Quotient. G’s indignation, restlessness and inability to sit through for around 30 minutes with an unknown crowd, made me feel disappointed. In such a set up I could just go and on and debate and chat endlessly and I expect my “man” to have the same quality. I had to tick him off – almost. G bid bye and moved on. The crowd was just a set up that I had arranged to test G on X Quotient! Even the Auto Driver was a set up of mine!! The beggar girl alone was a natural fit.

At the end of the day, G was not a perfect match, I thought. I was happy that I carried out the tests on the sly and never did G suspect that he was being S.E.X. tested! Full marks to me!!!

Similarly the next week I invited Mr. A. A failed the temperament test, with Auto Driver. A just threw the initially agreed fare of Rs. 50 and moved on. A grew so wild that I had to fetch him a water bottle to cool him down. In fact I became so nervous that I ended the mall visit with a cup of coffee and returned home quickly. But to my surprise, A spent hours with the set up crowd at home, endlessly bringing out topics for discussion with ease. He had a very good debating ability that floored me. He carried a moderate ego, I could judge this when he was discussing and debating issues with the crowd. But A was not as transparent as G. When queried about his past, he never revealed his cancerous medical complications, which he suffered and recovered. I knew this, because the Report from the Private Security Agency that we had set up to gather personal background information of these 3 guys.

At the end of the day I was in a dilemma. G was shy and did not score well in X Quotient, while A fared poorly in S Quotient.

Similarly the next week, at the appointed hour Mr. S arrived and we went to the mall as usual. S scored well in the S and X Quotients but carried a large Ego. On just asking him about his large tummy, he got annoyed and went to the extent of scorning me. Mr. S was the wealthiest among the 3 and G had no wealth at all, while A was moderately rich and had the best physical appearance among the 3.

I went to dad, with my findings and told him that I was not fully satisfied. He was perplexed. But after carefully listening to me, he told me that we have seen 120 profiles and short-listed 3 – this itself, he told me, only the luckiest would get to handle. He told me that generally people get around 20-30 and settle with one. I was convinced when I tried calling up the Web Portal’s local office and confirm what dad told me.

I brooded for a week and I thought in the current context, wealth mattered most and hence I gave First Priority to Mr. S, even though he carried a large ego. My second priority was Mr. A, because he had moderate wealth with the best physical appearance among the three, but scored poorly in S Quotient. Last came Mr. G, because he had least wealth and also carried a shy personality with average physical appearance, scoring least in the X Quotient.

I took my judgment to dad and over dinner, we discussed. Surprise of surprises, dad was very appreciative of my efforts. Dad, skipped office the next day to sit on the Test Results. After spending almost half a day, he came to me with his judgment.

Dad’s first choice was Mr. G. I was surprised. He told me that Transparency and Attitude mattered most and wealth mattered least at this stage of these young ones. He told me that Wealth could be earned, looks could be brought upon, Shyness could be treated-out, but reversing a negative-complex-attitude and Ego in a person is a Herculean task. Wealth and Ego goes hand in hand and, the ego of a wealthy person can destroy even the universe. What is the guarantee that this would not wreck your marriage? Thus he justified his first choice. I agreed with his choice and judgment – like any other daughter. But I was happy that dad considered my Test Results to arrive at his judgment. We also reviewed positive reports from Private Detectives, that we had contracted, and the Medical Reports on HIV and general health. Dad too was very appreciative of my tiring and relentless efforts in this process. And, if at all something has to go wrong from here, it would be GOD’s wish.

We arranged our wedding in about 2 months and thus came G into my life.

About a week after the marriage we planned for a short honeymoon. G was still shy and honeymoon was very much a necessity under the circumstances. We spent the whole day roaming around Ooty and came back to our room after a great dinner. On the bed, late in the night, when we were skin-2-skin, I enticed G sensuously. When my excitation peaked, I groped for his Hidden Treasure – The Arousal under his boxers – but in vain. I was shattered to the core. I yelled for a moment. With tears rolling down my eyes, I slowly increased the light intensity of the Table Lamp; only to see more tears rolling down the cheeks of G.

Sindhu

Great Mission

Greetings!

This is a short story on Sindhu’s Brave Marriage…Please avoid reading the last paragraphs first.

I completed my Final Year Graduation exams and was returning back home when a Black SUV whizzed past me and stopped to a screeching noise. Within a flash I was dragged into the SUV by four well built dark guys and much before I could realize what was happening my mouth was stuffed with a hanky and lost conscious. When I regained conscious I didn’t know where I was and what the time was. It was pitch dark. My mouth was stuffed-shut, my hands tied to the pole and my legs strapped together with a heavy chain. I felt the surface beneath my foot was wet and I realized that I was wet in my underpants too. I was shit scared and trembled in fear, butterflies fluttering in my empty stomach, tears rolled past my cheek. Every minute seemed a zillion years.

After a few minutes, I heard a small screeching noise of a wild insect. When I was just calling out my GOD “ganesa ganesa ganesa…I will break 101 coconuts, please save me. Get me to my dad, please, please, please…” a warm hand landed on my shoulder. I shuddered for a moment. The person turned-on the torch light and focused it on my face. I did not know who he was. I was shivering with fright and could not utter a single word. I thought he was the person who had brought me here. He then focused the light onto his face…“Hello, this is Ganesh” “You?” “I am Sindhu. Who are you? Why have you brought me here?” “Just shut up and keep quiet” he whispered. He then un-shackled me and released me. He carried me on his shoulder. “Did you have any food?” he asked. “I don’t know when I last ate” I whispered. “Why are you wet?” I couldn’t answer this question. We came to the corner of the hall, and he told me to climb onto his shoulders and open a window up there. I agreed. He whispered me to slowly open up the window and move out. I thought I would just run out. I opened the window only to see pouring rain in the darkest of nights. He then came behind me and lifted me once again. We got drenched. He tied a rope to my hip and helped me to slide the drainage pipe. I could feel cockroaches and lizards getting crushed when I slid. In fact I used to run a mile on seeing a lizard at home. He too came down and took me to a bike parked at a distance. He moved the bike slowly for a distance without starting and then kick started the bike and told me to sit. I did. We drove for about 3 hours on a highway and halted at a teashop.

I saw my watch…it was about 4:10 AM. Ganesh ordered tea. After a cup of tea, Ganesh had a smoke. While he was puffing away, I could see a policeman at a distance and Ganesh too noticed. He immediately started the bike and pulled me to sit behind and we drove for another 2 hours and reached city limits. Here I saw a shop’s board and was stunned. It was Delhi. I was shit scared and didn’t know what to do. Which means I had been un-conscious for so many hours…was I taken to Delhi from Chennai on Flight or Train? I didn’t know.

He took me to a room in first floor. Things were all scattered and I could make out that this was a bachelor’s accommodation. He told me to lie down on the floor and sleep for a while. But I just sat down. He locked the house and kept the key with himself. It was sort of a colony…infested with lower middle class families, I guessed. He went to the bathroom; and I looked for a telephone or a mobile to call up dad. But in vain. I didn’t know who took my handbag and mobile. I just had my clothes on my person and nothing else. I looked around for some cash. But again in vain. I wanted to make out his identity through some cards or some letters. But in vain. He came out of the bathroom after a few minutes; fresh after a bath. “Do you want to freshen up?” he asked. I just nodded to say no. “OK. Let me go out and get a pair of dresses for you…it’s just 8:00 AM, but let me try in small roadside shops” he said and went out locking me up inside. He came back with a pair of dresses and told me to freshen up.

I had a bath and he took me to a restaurant. We spent about an hour there. I narrated the entire sequence of events that I remembered just before getting unconscious in the SUV. He was very appreciative – on the fact that I opened up fully to him. He told me that he was working for a private organization and told me that he could get a job for me there. I told him that, my first priority was to speak to my father and requested him for his mobile. He declined to provide the mobile. He then took me to a crowded roadside payphone booth and told me to call up dad. He instructed me to tell that I was safe and that I was in Delhi for an urgent visit and that I was with one of my best friends in Delhi. I called up dad and he was very happy and relieved that I was alive. He told me that I had been kidnapped and that police are with him recording the speech. He told me that I need not worry and told me to co-operate with my kidnapper and that I would be rescued shortly.

Life went on like this for couple of weeks and we never stayed in a single place for more than 2 nights. Ganesh was always there behind me all the time, except in toilet. While sleeping in the nights, he used to chain one of my legs with his legs and kept the key secured on his person. There was no way I could escape. During the days we used to go to his office and come back at odd times. But to be true, he took care of me really well.

After about 6 weeks, Ganesh put me in a flight to Chennai and sent me back. When I landed in Chennai, I saw dad with an open arm with some of his colleagues. Dad whispered to me that few in casual dress were high ranking police officials. I broke down when I saw dad. He offered me water and sweets. He then told me that we are not going home, but taking another flight to Covai. I told him that as long as I was with him that is fine.

On landing in Covai, we drove straight to the Collectorate Office – dad told me that he was transferred to Covai and we needed to settle down here. After signing a few papers, dad told that he was ready and some of his new colleagues took us to our new home. The house was fully decked up with all latest furniture and ready to occupy and live. I thought of mom and missed her very much. She was shot down by a naxalite when I was doing my 9th grade.

After a few weeks, I enrolled in a nearby college for an Under-Graduate course. There I met Jai. He was a nice person by all accounts and our friendship grew thick and fast. Later I came to know that he was the son of a local gangster, Mayee. Dad informed me that Mayee was a notorious criminal in this part of the country and only a few had seen him in person. Covai being a small village, I was the only girl who looked modern. But I loved this place after living most of my life in Cities and Towns.

One evening I went to Jai’s home to meet him. But he was not there. Mayee was there and asked me to come over. I started to shiver and tried to escape. He told me that I looked gorgeous and nodded his head as if he was inviting me to bed. I shuddered. He asked me who I was and I told him that I was daughter of the Tahsildar Ramaswamy and I was classmate of Jai. He told me to sit beside him and told me not to be afraid. I felt comfortable for a few moments; but thereafter Mayee put his arms around my shoulder and purposefully slid his palms down – I understood his intentions, but was shit scared. I told him that I needed to go home; he replied saying he too wanted to go. “Don’t you ask me where I want to go?” he retorted in a low harsh tone. Nervously I nodded at him…“I need to reach heaven. I will help you too reach heaven, for a few minutes. But I need your co-operation…only then we both can be in heaven for a few minutes. Will you?” he asked in a further reduced tone. I said no and escaped from his clutches and ran back home.

Fear filled life again started. I didn’t tell dad about Mayee or about my interest in Jai. Neither did I tell Jai about Mayee’s sexual advances. I was confusion-personified. To get over this I thought I would meet Mayee. I met Mayee the next day, skipping college. Generally no one can enter Mayee’s residence that easily. He usually stays in the jungles and visits this house rarely. When I landed at the gate of the palatial house, the security guard got instructions to allow me inside. Luckily Mayee was present. I trembled in fear, but mustered enough courage to tell whisper in his ears…“Sir, Will you marry me?” And I ran out like a small girl. Few weeks, life went on like this. Though life was fear-filled, and I had to watch every step of mine, I was somewhat confident that nothing would happen to me – because I had enticed Mayee; and I thought Mayee was on my side and protect me.

One evening, on a Monday, when I was coming out of college few fellows approached me and told me that Mayee wanted to marry me the coming Thursday. They warned me that I should not tell this to any soul on this earth including dad and Jai. I agreed and started to walk back home. I called up Ganesh’s mobile number and told him that I was in trouble and requested him to help me again. He agreed but told me that he would not be able to take the call from this moment and that I could leave the message to him. I agreed, but was scared too. I told Ganesh that I was deeply in love with Jai and wanted to marry him at any cost.

On Tuesday I informed Jai that I would visit him on Thursday at his residence. He agreed and asked me what was special about Thursday. I told him that would be a surprise and requested him to be in good dress to go to college. Jai was a person who was not even as courageous as me. He never used to stand erect in front of his father, Mayee. I liked this girlishness in him, but at this moment, I wanted him to come back and be a brave man – to tackle his father and tie the knot on my neck. Jai was just anatomically a male, but at heart was a typical girl – what a paradox, being a criminal’s son, I used to wonder.

On Thursday morning, without even telling dad, I skipped college and went straight to Mayee’s home. I didn’t see Jai there and was surprised at that. One person instructed me to adorn myself with the bride’s dress in the room. In the room alone, I tried calling Ganesh from my mobile, but there was no response on his mobile and even the voice mail never got activated for me to leave a message. The central hall was decked up with a festive look and there were about 20 people. I was surprised – because Mayee is not a person to show up to people and he never was in the public eye for decades. I asked one of them if they were all guests. He just blinked his eyes to tell me that they were all associates of Mayee. I was shit scared again. I asked the same fellow where Jai was. He told that Jai was sent to fetch something from a nearby village. He also told me that they were all seeing Mayee for the first time in their lifetime, though Mayee was their Boss for decades. When I thought I would call dad, I saw Mayee approaching me with a poojari [pastor] walking besides him.

Then entered a person clad in Safari suit and Ray Ban goggles, escorted by one of Mayee’s bodyguards, and met Mayee. “Hello Sir, I am Richard from Singapore” said the person who looked like half Chinese and half Indian. “Oh Welcome. I was expecting you yesterday. But anyway I am happy that you have come at the right moment. Please grace the occasion Mr. Richard” laughed Mayee. Then Mayee held my hand and took me along to the podium with the poojari walking behind me.

The wedding ceremonies started in right earnest at sharp 10:30 AM and there arrived Jai with four well-built men behind him. I was relieved that Jai arrived. I was a bit distraught that Ganesh was not there on the scene to help me get out of this mess. Mayee’s bodyguard had strategically positioned himself near the podium and had a rifle in hand. This was the first time that Mayee was participating in a function or ceremony since he became the lord of the jungle. I was nervous to the core and was sweating profusely. But I was confident that everything would pass off smoothly.

When Mayee was about to tie the sacred yellow-thread [Thali] around my neck, I heard pistol shots…Tshoom…Tshoom…Tshoom…I ducked behind Mayee’s back and when I saw Jai trying to pull his trigger and shoot Richard, with my pistol hidden secretly I shot Jai…Tshoom,Tshoom,Tshoom. At the same time, Mayee’s bodyguard tried to shoot me, when I heard Tshoom, Tshoom, Tshoom. I thought I was dead. But it was Richard who had shot the bodyguard dead. All this happened in a matter 2-3 seconds and Mayee, Jai and the Bodygurad were all lying dead in a pool of blood. When I looked around I saw six other Mayee’s men were all on the floor and held by many of the safari clad men. These men were all from CBI police force – which even I was not aware. My heartbeat was racing and I was sweating profusely not knowing what to do. I was almost fainting – when I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. When I turned back, I saw Richard. I stepped aside trying to pull out of Richard’s clutch. Then Richard, told me that he was Ganesh and not Richard. He removed his goggles and winked at me. I instantly realized that it was indeed Ganesh. I just hugged him.

I made an SOS call to Dad. Richard, in the mean time removed his mask. When Dad arrived in his jeep in about 5 minutes, Richard was there as Ganesh. I whispered to dad that I had planned to marry Ganesh when I was in Delhi; he was awed for a moment; but was all smiles and grinning to glory in moments thereafter.

In the same muhurtham, Ganesh tied the Thali around my neck and my wedding was over in a flash. In about an hour we were there in the airport to fly back to Delhi.

Ganesh thanked me for my support and that he was really surprised that I had mustered so much of courage to accomplish the mission. Ganesh was working for Central Bureau of Investigation, Delhi, in close co-ordination with Research and Analysis Wing - RAW Delhi. When I was kidnapped, Ganesh rescued me – based on intelligence from RAW. He trained me to handle pistol, and it was CBI that transferred dad from Chennai to Covai. It was all planned to get Mayee – dead or alive and I was trained to help CBI and RAW in the mission. Mayee was the lord of the jungles and had killed many wild animals and many State Police personnel. RAW had information that one of Mayee’s close associates in Singapore was Richard and that Richard was visiting Mayee for an important “deal”. Based on this information, Richard was nabbed in the airport and Ganesh landed in Mayee’s place as Richard. Even I was not aware of this. It was precisely for this reason that Ganesh never attended to the mobile calls – suspecting tapping/leakage of information. Jai was getting trained to take over the mantle from Mayee and hence the Central Government wanted to nip this in the bud. The State Police made many attempts to capture Mayee and Jai, but failed. But Ganesh had told me secretly that it was better to kill Mayee and Jai than to capture them alive – that was the secret strategy of CBI.

No one including dad knew about this mission. Even I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to pull off so smoothly starting from admission to the College – though I had graduated earlier I enrolled for an Under-Graduate Course, falling in “love” with Jai and bravely “handling” Mayee and enticing Mayee to marry me – actually he was only interested in keeping me as his “mistress”.

On landing at Delhi Airport, I received a call from Dad informing me that he too was flying to Delhi. CBI and RAW arranged to move his resignation papers and move dad to Delhi – apparently fearing threat to his life.

Sindhu

Pussy Dreams

Greetings!

I finished work as usual, and reached home by cab at 4:30 AM. Opened the door; flung my handbag; went to the bathroom for a wash and then slowly entered the bedroom. Jay was on the bed, facing the other side; I quietly slipped into the bed and under the blanket. “Why so late?” enquired Jay. “Oh! I thought you were sleeping. Anyway. One client held me back – there were lots of issues in the reports that we sent last week. So the client wanted to go over each of the issue and sort out. Got late. Sorry darling.” “Even I was late. I came in only at around 2:00 AM” mentioned Jay. “Oh!”

I had got married to Jay just last week – it was a hurriedly “arranged” marriage – since both of us could not get a long vacation. But life went on like this for couple of months, without a honeymoon. Both of us were working in BPO Units and our timings were weird and we rarely met face to face in daylight.

One night as usual I came home in the wee hours and quietly slipped under the blanket. I just snuggled Jay and slept off. When I woke up in the morning, I was surprised to see Jay next to me sleeping happily. “Jay. Have a nice day, c u late in the evening” – left a note next to Jay and was about to leave – when Jay snatched me by my hand and pulled me. What a surprise. “Are you on vacation today?” I enquired. “No Sindhu, I just came-in about 3 hours back. Got late with few reports and my US boss was arriving; so had to receive him at airport”. I was shocked. “I saw you when I came in at around 2:00 AM and slipped into the bed” “Oh no.” said Jay. “Then who was that in the bed?” I asked him. “Now I understand. It must have been my brother. He said he would stay over for the night and leave early in the morning to catch up a train” “Atrocious Jay. You could have informed me right? Che…che…I almost slept with your brother” I angrily retorted. “Sorry Sindhu. I called you up to say that. You never picked up the phone.” “I know…I missed two of your calls, because I was sitting with my Lead for a long time” I told. “But you could have sent me an SMS” I questioned Jay. “It never struck me. Sorry about that…” replied Jay. “Working in weird timings for BPO units, and hardly meeting each other; my olfaction has not caught up with your body odor” - to recognize you in dark. What a life?” I narrated.

“Darling it is time we went for a honeymoon – at least a short one – to get to know each other. I know very well – I have not even touched your sensitive buttons” chuckled Jay. “Hmmm…I agree. But I cant take a vacation till the next month-end or so” I replied. “Frustrating Sindhu…what a life. And moreover our holidays too don’t match. Guys n Gals out there in the world dream about Extra-Innings and Extra-Time; we here have not even set up a match. Frustrating. I want to resign and look for a new job” fumed Jay. “Cool down. I understand. But think again. You started your career in a BPO four years back and now where else can you go? All BPOs work the same way in India…Other sectors too has been afflicted with the same problem now a days. May be we can align our weekly-off days?” I counseled. “I can’t change the roster now. A change-request will take a while to get approved, and moreover, many people have left our organization. So the existing ones are backfilling with additional shifts…” replied Jay.

After a few mundane dry-weeks, as usual, I slipped into the bed in the wee hours. I heard Jay murmuring, “Wet n Soft…wet n soft…” I wondered what he was upto. Even after a few minutes his murmurs did not stop. But seemed to be fast asleep. I didn’t want to disturb his sleep – I was disturbed and curious too. But I couldn’t get what that “wet n soft” meant.

After a few minutes, there was a soft knock on the door. “Who are you? What do you want?” I asked the young good-looking girl at the door. “I am Ann, May I come in please.” “Yes. But why did you not use the calling bell?” I asked curiously. “Ma’am, I thought bell would disturb Jay’s sleep.” “Wow. Ok, Please come in. Who are you by the way? What do you want?” I asked Ann. “Ma’am, I need to go to the bathroom” she requested. By the time I could answer yes, she marched to the bathroom, in the bedroom! I was appalled. I wondered how she knew the right way to the bathroom in the bedroom? In fact she had to go past the one in the hall to reach bedroom. I ran behind her and clutched her neck and asked her – what the heck? Why did you come to this bathroom? This is my personal washroom? I thundered. “Oh. Ma’am, I forgot my panties in this bathroom – so came here to take that.” “Really?” “Yes. See this, if you don’t believe me” she leaned forward and lifted her skirt to show her bare bottoms. I almost fainted.

She stepped into the bathroom. “But why did you come to this bathroom?” “To wash of course. Don’t you know why people use bathroom?” Ann retorted. “What?” She slipped on her panties and moved. Blocking her way, I yelled at Jay. Jay woke up and not realizing what was happening, and in half sleep, he came chanting, “Wet n Soft…Smooth n Slippery… Wet n Soft…Smooth n Slippery… Wet n Soft…Smooth n Slippery…” My mind started to suspect if Jay was referring to Ann. I yelled at Jay once again, holding his back and asked him, if his chants referred to Ann. Not knowing what the question was, he simply nodded his head. My temper grew wild.

“What the heck? Wet, Soft, Smooth, Slippery…Are you people referring to my pussy? Bullshit. I will call police on harassment charges…” thundered Ann. “Did you sleep here – sometime back?” I shouted back. “Yes.” answered Ann. “Whaaaat?” I roared and stepped back. Jay came alive and approached me. I stepped back silently. I strongly suspected Jay’s sexcapade with Ann and my anger grew exponentially – not knowing how to react.

“Sindhu, Ann – I was referring to the new soap from Switzerland that I used to wash myself before I went to the bed – and definitely not your pussy, Ann” clarified Jay. Ann seemed relieved, but I was not convinced. “But why did Ann come over, in the first place?” I enquired. “Oh Ma’am, I am in no way connected to Jay – I had an upset stomach while I was walking down the street, and knocked on the door. When Jay consented; I used the bathroom and lied on the bed for sometime to relax; and nothing more” clarified Ann. I felt relieved; but read a lesson in it.

Deducing that continence cannot be sustained forever - the next day, I quit my job; Jay was happy.

I took up a consulting job after many weeks; and now I work leisurely. Jay never pussy-dreams anymore. Me happy too…

Sindhu

My Ass

Greetings to you !

We were a small family when I was about 12 years old and studying for my fifth grade. I was the only daughter for my young parents. We also had one more member in the family - that was my cute little ass!

She used to take bath only on Fridays - strictly once a week. My school was located just opposite the pond where my ass preferred to take bath regularly. I generally used to take along my ass on Fridays when I went to school and by the time I finish my classes, my ass also used to be ready – fully dry after a nice bath – to go home.

One pleasant Friday I was going to the school as usual and my ass also was following me. I asked her if she enjoyed life being an ass. “Yes very much. With a guardian like you and many friends around, I am lucky though. In any case, all asses enjoy life!” she exclaimed. I told her she was indeed lucky. “Why? What made you ask that question?” “Nothing. Nothing specific. Just asked” We were crossing acres of green approaching the pond. Smelling sand amidst the greens, my ass got the mood – she just squatted there to attend to her nature’s call. Again we started to move slowly and suddenly, my ass started to take a tangential path. I called her, but she did not heed. I thought she once again wanted to relieve herself. I sat down and kept watching my ass. She went behind a tree at a long distance. I felt a bit tired and lied down. I opened my schoolbook, and was surprised to see that I had not completed my home-assignment. Hurriedly I scribbled something to make it look like I had sincerely attempted. I yelled at my ass, to come over, but to no success. After a few minutes, came my ass, singing “Hooo lalala. Hooo RaRaRa. Jooo julala. Hooohoo hooraaa” “I am already late to my school. What the heck were you doing there?” I shouted. “I just relieved myself. Sorry the urge was too strong!” “But generally you don’t have the habit of going behind the tree for such things. What is this new shyness?” “Oh, Sindhu, this is not that urge. This urge is different. You wont understand now – you are very young. I just met my friend and came. I will tell you next year”

Few years later, on a Friday as usual I was taking my ass for a bath. As usual, my ass went behind a tree and came back in about ten minutes. I was into my final year of graduation then. I was very curious to know what exactly this ass was doing behind the tree. I suspected something fishy and I could reasonably guess the act. When she came back, I asked her if she had met the same friend she has been meeting since I was a child. She replied in the negative. “What did you do?” I asked. “I just mated!!!” she replied. I was startled at my ass’s openness. I started to reason now that mating is a natural phenomenon. “Do you have boy friends?” she asked me. “No” “But then how do you manage?” she asked again. “As a girl – I cannot even see a guy. Let alone talk in this remote village” “Oh. That’s sad!” counseled my ass. I asked if she did not find it strange to mate with strangers. She said no. That’s the way we live, unlike you social human beings who are wedded to the same person for life. I wondered at the intelligence of my ass! Suddenly, one crow came and sat on the back of my ass and whispered something. I asked what that was. “Nothing Sindhu, the crow wanted a drop to our place and I agreed”. So the crow traveled back to our village piggy riding on my ass. I wondered how the two species spoke to each other. When I tried to reach the crow, he flew back. Human beings are such a strange species, I wondered. We just cannot get along with each other spontaneously nor can get connected to members of other species that easily. “Oh my ass! You don’t wear any dress on you. Don’t you feel like wearing one on you?” “No, dresses are meant only for human beings and not other species” came the reply with a smile. “Oh my ass! Do you celebrate festivals?” “No, again that is for you human beings” pat came the reply. “Do you go to gym to keep yourself fit?” “No, the same answer. We fellows are very active throughout unlike you human beings who laze around to get unfit and spend a fortune to keep fit!” “Oh my ass! Do you spend on cosmetics, like Fair & Lovely, to keep away sun tan?” “No, yet again. We are the way we are born, we don’t discriminate among ourselves based on race, religion, caste, color or bank balance – they are all only for you human beings”.

Analyzing the responses of my ass, from that day onwards, I started envying my ass! I was not only aghast but was pleasantly surprised at the intelligence of my pet ass.

Though my ass - our family’s four-legged beast of burden - was not biologically connected to my parents or me in any way – she was a de-facto member of our small happy family - helping our family to earn the daily rice gruel by carrying my father’s clients’ dirty wardrobe to the pond and back.

Sindhu

OEDIPUS - An India Story

Greetings to you!

When I was studying 5th standard, my parents took me to a long trip to Kanyakumari by car – the good old Ambassador. Ramu, our driver, was at the wheels and dad was seated in the front. I was sitting at the rear with mom. It was around 3:00 PM in the afternoon, after a heavy lunch, when mom was singing a lullaby to put me to sleep. The car was cruising at around 50 miles per hour speed – a normal speed on Indian highways. Suddenly in a flash, the car was hurtling down off the road after hitting a huge truck. I don’t remember the incidents that happened for the next couple of hours. When I regained consciousness, I saw dad in unconscious state in hospital and mom in the mortuary. I still remember my cries and even now my eyes are moist recollecting those gory images. Ramu was also admitted in the hospital with small bruises and a minor fracture in the leg.

Ramu recovered in couple of weeks and took to driving. Dad had bought the car recently and had wished to go on a long drive and the wish turned out to be a tragedy. I lost mom. Dad was crippled for life. Both his legs were amputated and the doctors reported that he would take many years to recover fully but only with false legs. I wept uncontrollably for days and weeks together, but had to reconcile to the fact. Ramu was very supportive. The office where Dad was working chipped in with some amount for the medications, but the regular salary that Dad was used to getting stopped abruptly. It was a monumental tragedy for all of us. I was just around 12 years then studying for my fifth grade, in a private school.

Dad was crippled for life, but he was not short of encouraging words for me. He egged me to study well for my fifth grade. But I could not concentrate the way I was earlier. When the exams fast approached I put in extra hours of effort to somehow clear. But the gory images filled my mind and tears filled my eyes missing mom very much. I failed to clear fifth grade. My teacher visited my home and spoke to dad - immediately after the results. I do not know what they spoke in privacy. But dad insisted that I would continue studies, repeating fifth grade.

There was a problem. The private school fees were exorbitant and with dad’s salary gone, coupled with dad’s high medical costs, there was no choice, but to drop out of the private school. Ramu chipped in saying, henceforth he would drive the car as a taxi and take care of all three of us – including him. Ramu put me in the nearby Government managed school in fifth grade. Dad controlled his tears when I announced that I joined the lowly rated Corporation School. “I wanted my child to study in a great public school, but that was not to be. Oh Sindhu, I am sorry for all that has happened. Please forgive me, please forgive me. Kill me. Kill me. I don’t want to see all this. I killed your mom. I don’t want to be a burden to you all” wept dad uncontrollably. I too wept uncontrollably but dad comforted me. He egged me to study well and take care of him. I assured him that I would study well and that I would never leave him to be tended by any other hand for life – big words though.

The car insurance company fired more questions to us than answers and we knew it would be futile to expect any worthwhile amount from the insurance company. Ramu took a loan and repaired the car. With his measly income, we pulled on with life. We moved to a much smaller one-room house to save on rent.

I studied well and came out with flying colors. I completed my Graduation in Commerce coming out as a University topper. I was so attached to dad that I could not see any other human being on this earth. He was omnipresent and he was my GOD. I prayed only him – day in and day out.

Being a University topper I got into a company as a Probationary Officer for the first six months. Dad was getting sick by the day. Dad’s deteriorating health often put me in a state of sadness. I could not visualize a world without him. When he mildly coughed I was there with a glass of water. I slept by his bedside for so many years now, that there was no place for anyone else in my life.

Six months of probation was over; and I was recruited as a regular officer with a decent salary. I announced this to dad and he was thrilled to the core. But his frail health prevented him to feel and celebrate the way he wished. Nevertheless, I could sense his mood – and I was happy at that. I called in Ramu and he too was thrilled. “Ramu, you sacrificed your life for our well being. You never got married. You brought me up too. I am extremely thankful for that. Why don’t you get married now? I know you are close to 50 years now. But why don’t you try?” I quipped. “Don’t joke Sindhu” gagged Ramu. Seeing this happy moment, dad was extremely happy. Within seconds he fainted in his bed. Ramu called in a doctor. Doctor arrived in the next few minutes and checked. He gave few additional medicines and informed us that dad was normal and only that his blood pressure had shot up momentarily – though on a happy account. He advised us to keep dad in a cheerful mood always and that his days are numbered. I was shocked, but never expressed.

While coming back home from office, the next evening, I shuddered at the thought of my life without dad – how ever sick he was. I stopped midway and went to a coffee pub. After pondering for a while, I went to my family doctor, Amisha –known as Ami. “Ami, I wanted to discuss with you something serious. Please excuse me for not informing you about my arrival. Can we discuss for few minutes?” “Yes my child why not?” replied Ami. We discussed for a long time and I left home at close to midnight. When I reached home, dad was waiting at the door, on his wheel chair without even having his dinner. “My child, I hope you know how difficult it is to move moments without you” said dad. “Dad I was with Ami for sometime late in the evening and got late. Sorry about that” I replied. Dad refused to have food and I too skipped and we went to bed.

As planned Ami visited our home in the morning and I left for work.

Ami: “Uncle, I have known you for so long. Last evening Sindhu was with me discussing about surrogacy”
Dad: “I know she was there. Why on earth were you discussing about surrogacy?”
Ami: “You know very well that Sindhu cannot visualize a life without you”
Dad: “Yes. I know. Same is the case with me too. I cannot live without her”
Ami: “And that’s the reason she discussed surrogacy with me”
Dad: “I can’t understand still”

The talk has continued like this for an hour or so. When I came back home early in the evening – “How on earth could you think of such a thing Sindhu?” thundered dad. I was aware that his BP needs to be in control and remained silent. “But dad, you have always said that I am everything for you and that you would give me whatever I asked for?” “But I never imagined that you would come up with this kinda request. I am shocked…” replied dad. “Anyway, since you have sacrificed so much for me, you have studied well and coming up well in life, I have no choice but agree to your request. I am happy though – I do not know if there are any legal complications in this. I feel out of the world – but don’t know the reason. If you are happy, I am happy!” said dad. I was thrilled to the extreme. I immediately called Ami to inform. Ami requested me to keep this entire issue within us.

Ami, as planned came home early in the morning, conducted a few tests on dad and carried out the remaining processes. In a few weeks time, Ami implanted the womb in me – developed from my eggs and dad’s sperms. Weeks later the growth showed up and colleagues at office started questioning. My boss too was sounded out and he called me in his chamber. I narrated the true story to him and asked for his advice. He advised me to take a long vacation and come back after the birth of the child. I heeded his advice and rested at home for months.

Ami used to conduct regular tests and inform me that the growth is normal. But there was a catch now – financial problems started again. Medical expenses shot up and my salary also stopped. We decided to sell dad’s car that Ramu was driving. Ramu grudgingly agreed to the proposal. With that small amount we managed the medical costs and cost of living. Though dad’s health was deteriorating very fast.

Weeks thereafter, in the wee hours of a morning, I got severe abdominal pains. The pain was unbearable and had all the symptoms of labor pain. I clutched dad’s neck and shook him out of sleep. He knew only Ramu’s number and got a reply that Ramu was away to distant Kerala with his new boss. I was writhing in pain and knew that anytime I would faint and that I would beget a baby anytime now. I clutched dad’s neck strongly and shouted for help. “Sindhu, I am so sorry. You have helped me all your life, but at this moment, I am of no use to you. I am a sinner. I am a sinner. Let me die” wept dad. I could hear someone breaking the doors open. That was the neighbor’s servant maid. She sounded out to all in the neighborhood and I lost consciousness in a few moments.

When I regained consciousness, I saw my son. I asked for my dad. Ami told that he was no more. I was shocked. I yelled. Ami gave me an injection and put me to sleep again. The next time I woke up, I saw my son in cheerful mood - waving his hands and moaning to glory. He resembled every bit of dad. I prayed GOD for dad’s soul to rest in peace and that his new avatar in the form of my son to have a long and peaceful life.

After a week, a policeman came knocking at home. He informed me that dad’s death was un-natural, as per medical reports. I was shocked. I narrated the entire sequence of happenings that took place on that fateful intervening night and morning. He called me to the police station and I went with my baby in hand. A case was registered and I came back home. One fine morning, in a few weeks thereafter, I got a notice inviting to attend an enquiry by the magistrate.

When the magistrate questioned me, I once again narrated the same sequences. When he asked me spell out the reasons, I told him that I did not intend to kill him. I told him dad was my life and I could not have killed him. “But it is a fact that you have killed your dad” thundered the magistrate. I told him that I did not want my unborn son to also call him DAD and share my father’s dad-hood with me. I was a bit selfish here, but I regret. But in a moment of madness coupled with extreme labor pains – perhaps I used a wee bit extra force on dad’s neck. Magistrate nodded his head in approval.

The judge then read out the judgment. “This is a special case and one of the rarest. This is a murder committed by a daughter on her father. Not in the best of her senses but when she was undergoing labor pains. This is not a pre-mediated murder for gains nor is there any evidence of any bad motive. In fact, this is not going to inspire any sane person on this earth and that the situations leading to the murder was unique and very rare. And this court also has kept in mind the humanitarian aspect. The court has decided to grant 5 years Simple Imprisonment to Sindhu and she has the option to keep the child with her. If she decides so, the Jail authorities would provide all care and assistance to Sindhu to nurse her baby son”

I was shattered to know that I was responsible for dad’s murder. But that was a fact and life started in the jail. The jail and court agreed to release me on parole in my fourth year, keeping in mind my son’s first admission to school.

I came out of jail and didn’t know where to go. I had earned couple of hundreds in jail and that was the only money I had with me. I went to Ramu’s place. He was there with a failing health. He was surprised to see me – in his slum dwelling. He invited me to stay on as long as I wanted, but told me not to ask for anything to eat.

He wept cuddling my son but said it was ages since he had eaten good food. He was out of work due to failing health and was living on alms. I took him to a nearby street food outlet and we all had one good dinner with the money I had. The next morning I went to my old office where I worked. The HR informed me that I was terminated from service, and persons with criminal record are not recruited as per company policy. I was crestfallen. I told her that I had completed my Probation and that I was a University Topper – but in vain. I knocked on a couple of organizations but did not succeed. The status of a criminal, coupled with the stigma of an unwed mother went against me. I had no friends and was feeling very depressed. I met Ami, but she could not help much. She even refused to part with a small loan. She was magnanimous to feed my son with a bowl of rice gruel – I knew my son relished that. Tears filled my eyes. I thought of committing suicide – but did not know how and where. The glowing but skinny face of my son was the only solace I had.

All my recent friends were in the jail and I decided to visit the jail warden. But on reaching the railway station after a long walk I realized that I did not have enough money to buy train tickets. I approached the Station Master – “We see so many such cases every day. You take money, drink liquor and create nuisance on the streets. Get out of here. Else I will call police!” thundered the Station Master. “I want train tickets alone and not money Sir” I requested. “You don’t look very bad though. Why don’t you earn by sleeping with me?” enquired the Station Master. I was furious but had no choice but to run out. I entered the train platform and got into a train. I begged few people for a ticket, without luck. I got into another train and joined one another lady with a child in tow and started begging. At the end of the evening I could barely collect a few coins and managed to feed my son for dinner.

Late in the evening I did not know where to go and decided to stay on in the railway station and hoped to collect sufficient coins the next day. With my son and the University Degree secured in the mid-riff, I coiled under a seat in one of the abandoned railway compartments far away from the regular platforms – to spend the long night.

The next morning…

Station Master - “Hey who is that. Get up lady it’s already 6:00 AM” Finding no response from the lady with the child, he stoops down to move the lady physically - only to see two departed souls…

Sindhu