My Ass

Greetings to you !

We were a small family when I was about 12 years old and studying for my fifth grade. I was the only daughter for my young parents. We also had one more member in the family - that was my cute little ass!

She used to take bath only on Fridays - strictly once a week. My school was located just opposite the pond where my ass preferred to take bath regularly. I generally used to take along my ass on Fridays when I went to school and by the time I finish my classes, my ass also used to be ready – fully dry after a nice bath – to go home.

One pleasant Friday I was going to the school as usual and my ass also was following me. I asked her if she enjoyed life being an ass. “Yes very much. With a guardian like you and many friends around, I am lucky though. In any case, all asses enjoy life!” she exclaimed. I told her she was indeed lucky. “Why? What made you ask that question?” “Nothing. Nothing specific. Just asked” We were crossing acres of green approaching the pond. Smelling sand amidst the greens, my ass got the mood – she just squatted there to attend to her nature’s call. Again we started to move slowly and suddenly, my ass started to take a tangential path. I called her, but she did not heed. I thought she once again wanted to relieve herself. I sat down and kept watching my ass. She went behind a tree at a long distance. I felt a bit tired and lied down. I opened my schoolbook, and was surprised to see that I had not completed my home-assignment. Hurriedly I scribbled something to make it look like I had sincerely attempted. I yelled at my ass, to come over, but to no success. After a few minutes, came my ass, singing “Hooo lalala. Hooo RaRaRa. Jooo julala. Hooohoo hooraaa” “I am already late to my school. What the heck were you doing there?” I shouted. “I just relieved myself. Sorry the urge was too strong!” “But generally you don’t have the habit of going behind the tree for such things. What is this new shyness?” “Oh, Sindhu, this is not that urge. This urge is different. You wont understand now – you are very young. I just met my friend and came. I will tell you next year”

Few years later, on a Friday as usual I was taking my ass for a bath. As usual, my ass went behind a tree and came back in about ten minutes. I was into my final year of graduation then. I was very curious to know what exactly this ass was doing behind the tree. I suspected something fishy and I could reasonably guess the act. When she came back, I asked her if she had met the same friend she has been meeting since I was a child. She replied in the negative. “What did you do?” I asked. “I just mated!!!” she replied. I was startled at my ass’s openness. I started to reason now that mating is a natural phenomenon. “Do you have boy friends?” she asked me. “No” “But then how do you manage?” she asked again. “As a girl – I cannot even see a guy. Let alone talk in this remote village” “Oh. That’s sad!” counseled my ass. I asked if she did not find it strange to mate with strangers. She said no. That’s the way we live, unlike you social human beings who are wedded to the same person for life. I wondered at the intelligence of my ass! Suddenly, one crow came and sat on the back of my ass and whispered something. I asked what that was. “Nothing Sindhu, the crow wanted a drop to our place and I agreed”. So the crow traveled back to our village piggy riding on my ass. I wondered how the two species spoke to each other. When I tried to reach the crow, he flew back. Human beings are such a strange species, I wondered. We just cannot get along with each other spontaneously nor can get connected to members of other species that easily. “Oh my ass! You don’t wear any dress on you. Don’t you feel like wearing one on you?” “No, dresses are meant only for human beings and not other species” came the reply with a smile. “Oh my ass! Do you celebrate festivals?” “No, again that is for you human beings” pat came the reply. “Do you go to gym to keep yourself fit?” “No, the same answer. We fellows are very active throughout unlike you human beings who laze around to get unfit and spend a fortune to keep fit!” “Oh my ass! Do you spend on cosmetics, like Fair & Lovely, to keep away sun tan?” “No, yet again. We are the way we are born, we don’t discriminate among ourselves based on race, religion, caste, color or bank balance – they are all only for you human beings”.

Analyzing the responses of my ass, from that day onwards, I started envying my ass! I was not only aghast but was pleasantly surprised at the intelligence of my pet ass.

Though my ass - our family’s four-legged beast of burden - was not biologically connected to my parents or me in any way – she was a de-facto member of our small happy family - helping our family to earn the daily rice gruel by carrying my father’s clients’ dirty wardrobe to the pond and back.

Sindhu