I joined a MNC as a software engineer immediately after my graduation, getting through a Campus-Selection process. Initially I was feeling out-of-place. Because, this was the first time that I was coming out of home and being in the midst of umpteen strangers. On the first morning the HR girl Jolie took great care of me, guiding me and explaining in simple terms the dos and donts. Jolie also accompanied me to the lunch.
I was really shit scared as to what in store was for me in the future. Unfortunately I never met this man during the interview process and neither did I have any of my college mates with me – all the others were all placed in different teams.After lunch Jolie took me to the Project Manager David, introduced
me and left me with him.
David put me in a workstation that had a computer desktop with latest configuration with the mail-setup and other required facilities in place, including Internet connection. David saw me being nervous and tried to comfort me, but in vain. He asked me, “Sindhu, what is making you uncomfortable? Please let me know…I will try to help you out.” I just nodded with a blank reply. Actually my name is Sindhulakshmi. I am used to being called Lakshmi since childhood. He asked me, “Where did you do your schooling and graduation?” I replied back, “I did my schooling in a remote village, Sindhupatti and I did my Engineering, again in a remote, conservative village, Singapuram”. Then he realized that I have never been in a city all through.
David tried to comfort me by asking a few questions. He told me, “The Freshers and Software Engineers are more interested in playing football. The Tech Leads, and Project Managers play tennis more. The Vice Presidents and above play golf.” Now, “Sindhu, can you tell me why?”. I thought he was interviewing me again and became nervous. I replied nervously, “Sir, Football requires more energy and stamina than Tennis, and Tennis requires more energy than Golf. Positions come with age. With age, energy and stamina reduces and hence these people in different positions play the respective games.” He laughed. And laughed again. Sindhu, I did not expect you to analyze this and give me an analytical answer. Anyway, “Sindhu it is just a corporate joke”
I knew my answer was correct. I did not get, what the hell, the relationship between ball size and designation. I thought he might be an eccentric. He told me to lift my face up and see his face and talk eye-to-eye. This was the first time I really saw his face and spoke a few words with eye contact. I was just shit scared, though. He told me to lift my neck further and look around. I was just flabbergasted to see people in the whole bay looking at me. I was just embarrassed to the core. I was embarrassed that I never knew the city life and ethics and behavior. There were a few girls who were dressed modern and sounded hep, and on the sly took a look at my own dressing. I was in a typical village dress – half saree, an old fashioned plastic slipper with a jasmine adorning my long hair. But I knew I had a pretty face and sharper features that none here could compete with. David told, “Sindhu, I have a meeting now which may last for an hour. So I will take leave of you and be right back when the meeting gets over”. I just nodded. Though I was with David for just an hour or so, the moment he left my place, I thought I was being orphaned. Such was the chemistry I established with David in one hour. It was really astonishing. As David left the bay, all the others who were staring at me also settled down in their respective seats. I overheard a conversation between two girls who were seated nearby “ Typical village belle, poor Sindhu”.After a pause he said, “As one grows up the corporate ladder, the
balls reduce in size”.
It was past six in the evening and when I looked around, there were hardly a few and I was the only girl sitting in there. I started shivering. I desperately wanted to talk to my college mates, but I did not know how to reach them. I did not have a mobile phone with me, neither they did. Shivering increased and I could feel the sweat on my forehead. I desperately wanted to go to the loo, but I did not dare to ask where the loo was with a male colleague. My mind just started chanting God’s names. I tried to remember my father, my mother and my little younger brother. Just to get a feeling of familiarity and muster confidence. I started recalling how my father accompanied me to my Engineering College the first day. He waited for me the whole day outside, accompanied me for lunch and took me back home. But now it was all-different. I was left to fend for myself, since my father was very far in the village. David returned at around 7 pm. He directly went to his desk and started to work on the computer. I did not know if he ignored me or forgot me. I mustered enough courage, wiped my forehead, stood up and started walking towards David with my head down. I could feel that no one was there in any of the desks in the entire floor. I reached David at the other end of the floor. “Sir…” I murmured. He was shocked to see me. “Sindhu, still here? Sorry, the meeting got extended, and I too forgot about you”. I just nodded my head with a blank look and murmured “Sir, I want to meet my college mates and friends who are in the other team”. He directed me how to reach those teams. But I did not move one inch. He realized that, I wanted him to handhold me and take me to them. He got up and told me to follow him. When we reached there, all my friends had all gone. I asked him “Shall I go home now?” He said, “By all means. Good Night Sindhu…” David saw me off in the staircase. I started running and reached the exit. I looked around…none of my friends were to be seen. I stood there silently for a few moments. I realized that my eyes were filled with tears. I wiped, but it never dried. I stood there for almost 30 minutes. I could see a security guard at a distance. I walked up to him and told him that I wanted to reach my place. He said it is quite far and asked my PM’s name. I told “David, 7th floor”. He dialed an intercom and waited for a response. He told, “David has left office, I suppose. I cannot take you to your place, but I can tell you how to reach there.” “No, I cannot go alone. Its almost 8 PM” I replied. My eyes started to flow like an Amazon. “Sindhu, look there…David is coming…” I ran towards David, and pleaded to take me to my place. He thought for a few moments. He pulled out his mobile, spoke to someone and told me “Get inside the car. I will drop you.” I ran towards the car, opened the rear door and sat. I closed my eyes and started to thank GOD. I told, in day dreams, my father, mother and brother that this was my first and last day in my professional life and that I would somehow return back home the next day. David came, started the car and started moving slowly. At the gate, he told “Sindhu, come to the front and sit”. I switched over to the front seat next to him and we stated moving. “Sir, how long will it take?” He replied, “May be 45 minutes”. “But, Sir, I came to office in just 15 minutes this morning”. He kept silent and started to move into a gate. A uniformed person greeted him. I did not know where we were. I asked him “Sir, What is this?” He told “We are in a hotel to have dinner.” I was so scared that I did not utter a word. My mind imagined the sight of my father. Suddenly I screamed. “Sindhu what happened?” I nodded… “Father, father… in my village” He said ok. As we approached the main entrance of the restaurant, David placed his right palm on my right shoulder. A chill shiver ran through my body for couple of moments. “Ganesa, Ganesa, Ganesa, Lord Ganesa…help me. I want to go home quickly. I will break 100 coconuts. Please, please…” I chanted within me. The next moment I realized that I was sitting next to David in the restaurant. He had already ordered two plates of dosas [a south Indian dish] for us. The dosas were served and we started eating. “Sindhu, I like you so much. I like your innocence. I admire your ignorance. I admire your dressing sense; it is so different from others. I like everything about you. The strange and naïve features, a rarity for a metro city like Bangalore. I still like it. Sindhu” said David.
I want to go home quickly. I will break 100 coconuts. Please, please…” I chanted within me. The next moment I realized that David had already paid the Bill and we had already washed our hands. We started driving. David changed the gears, and placed his left palm on my right shoulder. “Sindhu, I have never dropped any of my colleagues at home. You are the first” he said, pressing my shoulder further hard. I was shit scared. A traffic signal came and he freed my shoulder. “Sindhu, I have a wife who also works for a software company.” “Sir, is it? I never guessed that. Fool, fool. I am a dumb” I replied. I started to breathe fully now, for the first time since morning. Really felt relieved, but just could not understand this relief. Why it happened or What brought that relief? I realized, at this moment, that it was not traffic signal, but my home entrance. “Sindhu, Good Night. Take care, bye, bye”. I replied “Bye…”“Ganesa, Ganesa, Ganesa, Lord Ganesa…help me.
I opened the door and realized that none of my friends had arrived. I relieved myself and sat on the sofa waiting for them. At last they came, after about 30 minutes. They started yelling at me. They were all, in fact were waiting for me in the office and come back to home together. Some how that never happened and I narrated fully my story to them. Belly, my friend shouted “Lucky You. So you have a very good PM. So how is David, now?” After a bit of teasing we all ended the day. Next morning, something compelled me to get ready to go to office. I just could not believe myself. Only a few hours ago, I thought I would go back to my village. But now it is the other way round.
The second day at office was much more comfortable. I met David, met all the members of the team. It was about 5.30 in the evening. “Sindhu, come on…we will go”, sounded David. I was surprised, but went along. In the car and in a jiffy we were in the very same restaurant sipping a cup of coffee. “Sindhu, I married Jennifer 3 years back. Since then we are well settled and I will take you to her sometime during this week” said David. “It was an arranged marriage. I wanted an IT girl and she was looking for an IT guy. And that is how we came together through a matrimonial advertisement and married. Life is going smooth.” “You know she is just the opposite of you. She did her schooling and graduation in Bangalore. She has very little knowledge about village life.” Curiously, I asked “Sir, You. Village or Bangalore?” “Oh me. I did my schooling in a village near your village. About 80 miles from your village. I did my graduation in Bangalore. And that is how I became a city-man!!!” he said. We finished coffee and he dropped me back home.
Life went on like this for quite a few months. He never once failed to drop me at home in the evening. I slowly adapted to the city culture. I dressed similar to the ones in the office. I got used to getting addressed as Sindhu. Not Lakshmi, which is too old fashioned. David, in fact, gifted me a Mobile Phone and taught me how to use it! He remarked then “Sindhu, I never had this opportunity of teaching anything to Jennifer. It really gives me pleasure to teach you how to use mobile phone. I even had the pleasure of teaching and training you on Computers. I never had this opportunity with Jenni. She was much more versatile than me in computers.” I nodded my head, up and down and left and right!
I too started liking David very much, but did not know why.
I used to feel orphaned on weekends when we never met.
I slowly forgot my village life and adapted fully to the Bangalore life. I met Jenni with David in the office and she too appeared a nice person. She even invited me for a lunch. On a visit to their home, Jenni taught me how to prepare few dishes, taught me how to use washing machine, food processor, etc.
I was slowly transforming from Sindhulakshmi, to modern day Sindhu at this stage, I suppose. My dressing sense changed and other than legal scrutinizable documents, I started signing as Sindhu!
It became a regular feature, to explain the day to my friends at that end of the day. They all envied me. What a change! The change was so perceptible, that I started to hold David’s hand while crossing the road. I started to place my palm on David’s shoulder while he was at the wheels. It is a mystery, what brought this change in me. Is it David, the Person? Is it the knowledge that David’s married? Is it the office environment? Or is it my friends? Or is it Bangalore?
David says “The pleasure that I got teaching and training you on so many things was beyond words. And that’s what I like most in you.” “Sir, you should give me an opportunity to teach you something!” “Yep”
One weekend David and Jenni called me to join them for a movie. I readily agreed. David took the center seat between me and Jenni, to watch the movie. The un-assuming Jenni was engrossed in the movie, with her palm on David’s lap.
In the darkness of the theatre, David put his
arms around on my shoulder, drawing me closer to him.
After couple of tense moments, I relaxed. His arm slowly drooped down. His fingertips started to gently tease my tender bust! I felt chill and sensed an amorous feeling within me. Why? I could not understand this. I was in a dilemma. Was I seducing David? Is David seducing me? Am I in love with David? Or is David taking me for a ride? I could not answer any of these questions. It troubles me. I still remember how scared I felt the first time David placed his palm on my shoulder, to comfort me.
Arrives a long weekend. “Sir, can I extend the long weekend by availing two days leave?” “Sure why not!” replied David. I visited my parents, brother, my old village belles after almost a year. They were all surprised to see me in my new avatar. “Lakshmi, you have changed very much. Do you still remember me? The days when we studied high school in the same school, exchanging notes, et all…” lamented Babu. “Lakshmi, I never dreamt that you would change so much in such a short time. I am really happy. Though I did not study beyond school, I still have a soft corner for you. Still wanting to be with you always…” said Babu. “Babu, I can never forget my good old village days. And more so, the sweet memories that you and I prepared together for that crucial 10th grade exams” I replied. “Those genuine feelings are nostalgic. I can never forget those, Babu…” I comforted him and spent couple of hours with him, admiring the salubrious village climate. “Lakshmi, these are the profiles that I have got from the marriage broker. Just go through them and let me know your choice” sweetly exhorted my dad, the moment I landed home. [Note, I am still called Lakshmi in my village]
The first long weekend in my professional life, ended and I returned back to office. “David, I am back” I exclaimed. “So nice…” came back the reply in a soft tone. I went to the desk and started checking my mailbox and then proceeded to code the program that I was supposed to. My mind was wavering and posed a question.
“Do you want David?” Yes…No answered my silent troubled mind.
“Do you want to live with Babu in the village?” No, yes, no, no, yes…answered my silent troubled mind.
“Do you want to cheat on Jennifer?” No…. no-way replied once again my troubled mind.
“Do you want something physical from David and settle down with the routines and then tie the knot to my dad’s choice? No, no, yes, yes…replied my silent troubled mind.
David came to my desk and enquired, “Sindhu, can we go out for dinner tonight. Me and You only” “What about Jenni?” David. “No, I want to spend some time with you this evening”. “Ok. No problem, I answered”. We were in the same old restaurant once again. Taking a table on the rooftop under bright full moon light, we sat next to each other, unlike the previous visits, when we sat facing each other. The atmosphere was serene and picture perfect. We ordered our favorite dosa, once again. Moments of silence followed. David placed his palm on my lap and gently caressed my thighs. “Sindhu, I want to confide in you that, I have a deep liking towards you” caressing my tender thighs remarked David. I was shocked. I was dumbfounded. “What does that mean?” I enquired. “Don’t know” replied David. “I want to be with you. I don’t want to lose you. I like Jennifer very much. She too likes you very much…” remarked David. I was confused to the core. “Why this confusion in you David? What do you want from me? Please let me know that?” I said. “I trust you as a good human being. I admire you as my Project Manager. I envy Jennifer, because she has the best of human beings in her life” I commented. “But beyond that I have no other feelings or thoughts, David”, I further commented – though I knew I was hiding something. I was definitely hiding the dilemma that I was facing and nothing more. “Tell me David, what you want from me?” I repeated. I knew I carried a genital-personality by nature. “Don’t know Sindhu, but I want to be with you” replied David.
David came to my desk and enquired, “Sindhu, can we go out for dinner tonight. Me and You only” “What about Jenni?” David. “No, I want to spend some time with you this evening”. “Ok. No problem, I answered”. We were in the same old restaurant once again. Taking a table on the rooftop under bright full moon light, we sat next to each other, unlike the previous visits, when we sat facing each other. The atmosphere was serene and picture perfect. We ordered our favorite dosa, once again. Moments of silence followed. David placed his palm on my lap and gently caressed my thighs. “Sindhu, I want to confide in you that, I have a deep liking towards you” caressing my tender thighs remarked David. I was shocked. I was dumbfounded. “What does that mean?” I enquired. “Don’t know” replied David. “I want to be with you. I don’t want to lose you. I like Jennifer very much. She too likes you very much…” remarked David. I was confused to the core. “Why this confusion in you David? What do you want from me? Please let me know that?” I said. “I trust you as a good human being. I admire you as my Project Manager. I envy Jennifer, because she has the best of human beings in her life” I commented. “But beyond that I have no other feelings or thoughts, David”, I further commented – though I knew I was hiding something. I was definitely hiding the dilemma that I was facing and nothing more. “Tell me David, what you want from me?” I repeated. I knew I carried a genital-personality by nature. “Don’t know Sindhu, but I want to be with you” replied David.
Throwing a glance at my bust, David said, “I like everything in
you!” I complimented back “You too look and act very smart!!!”
David paid the bill. Jaywalking back to the car, our palms got entwined, and David felt my rump, on the sly, couple of times. I ignored as Happy Accidents!
After a week, David flew to USA. It was a three-month on-site Project stint. I went and stayed with Jennifer at her place. We cooked together, went for shopping together. David called up at least thrice a week. David used to speak to Jennifer for more than an hour at times. In one of the calls, that I overheard, I found that they still savored each other physically. I not only envied but also became jealous. “Do I want David, physically?” was the question that I could not answer. I asked Jennifer, in the bed, “Jenni, so hows been your married life?” “Not bad at all. Its been wonderful, no doubt” replied Jenni. Next day there was a call from David, when Jenni was yet to come back from office. “So Sindhu, how are you? How are you feeling?” asked David. I answered, “I am ok. Feeling great. Jenni is yet to arrive from office”. “I too feel great,” said David. He was also thrilled and excited as me despite not seeing each other.
After a week, David flew to USA. It was a three-month on-site Project stint. I went and stayed with Jennifer at her place. We cooked together, went for shopping together. David called up at least thrice a week. David used to speak to Jennifer for more than an hour at times. In one of the calls, that I overheard, I found that they still savored each other physically. I not only envied but also became jealous. “Do I want David, physically?” was the question that I could not answer. I asked Jennifer, in the bed, “Jenni, so hows been your married life?” “Not bad at all. Its been wonderful, no doubt” replied Jenni. Next day there was a call from David, when Jenni was yet to come back from office. “So Sindhu, how are you? How are you feeling?” asked David. I answered, “I am ok. Feeling great. Jenni is yet to arrive from office”. “I too feel great,” said David. He was also thrilled and excited as me despite not seeing each other.
The talk meandered on for an hour and the thrill of the unknown overtook our senses and the call ended on an epicurean note. I never felt guilty.
David returns after three months. My father visits me with quite a few marriage proposals. Babu telephones and informs me, “Lakshmi, I know you since you since childhood. I am happy that you have moved up the ladder, ladder called life. Your father has come to Bangalore with interesting marriage proposals. Select one that you like and move ahead. All the best.” For Babu and my father, I am still their old Lakshmi, while I transformed as Sindhu here in Bangalore! My tear-gland gets hyperactive. But I had no words for Babu but to say “Bye, bye…” When dad explained proposals, I retorted, “Dad, these marriage proposals are just good enough for Lakshmi. But now I am Sindhu” Dad was astonished and left immediately.
“Sindhu, my trip was wonderful. But I missed you a lot” said David, on his arrival. “Me too” I confessed. “Sindhu, I love you so much. I cannot see you moving to someone else’s arms” said David. “Shut up, David. I don’t want to cheat on Jennifer. How on earth can you think of me when Jennifer is still alive and kicking?” I retorted. “Definitely I will be a good friend of you and Jennifer, for times to come. I do not want you to break up. And definitely I don’t want to be the reason for such a thing” I shouted. “Sindhu, I like you in every aspect. I like Jennifer too, in many ways” said David. “But what is that you want from me?” I questioned. He said, “Don’t know” “Look, even I want you. But don’t know why. At the same time, I too cannot exactly say what I need from you. I too am in a dilemma.
“Sindhu, my trip was wonderful. But I missed you a lot” said David, on his arrival. “Me too” I confessed. “Sindhu, I love you so much. I cannot see you moving to someone else’s arms” said David. “Shut up, David. I don’t want to cheat on Jennifer. How on earth can you think of me when Jennifer is still alive and kicking?” I retorted. “Definitely I will be a good friend of you and Jennifer, for times to come. I do not want you to break up. And definitely I don’t want to be the reason for such a thing” I shouted. “Sindhu, I like you in every aspect. I like Jennifer too, in many ways” said David. “But what is that you want from me?” I questioned. He said, “Don’t know” “Look, even I want you. But don’t know why. At the same time, I too cannot exactly say what I need from you. I too am in a dilemma.
I guess if we have sex once, probably our train of thoughts might change its direction.
Not sure, though. I don’t know if I want to have only sex with you or something more. David, at this moment, I am ready to spread my legs for you.” I told him gently. Further complicating David’s wavering mind.
But the moment he came to know that I too was interested in him, he in a flash applied for a divorce from Jennifer. I felt guilty that I was the motivation for this act. I questioned myself, “Was it a mistake on my part to offer to spread my legs to him. Did that trigger David’s mind, taking a turn for the worse?” Winning over great legal battles, David got separated from Jennifer. Though I did not want a life with David at the cost of Jennifer’s life, it happened.
We got married quietly, with a few friends helping us out in the process. The same evening David had to go to Dubai for a client’s meet and so left immediately. On his arrival the same evening we traveled to Mauritius for honeymoon. On arrival at a beautiful beachside resort, the heated passion between us rose to great heights and could not be ignored. The time was great to open up our passions as our tongues danced merrily in each other’s mouth. We started to sway to the gentle music, from the music system. When our sweat glands got activated we reclined on the sofa, next to the window. We started communing silently, staring into each other’s eyes, while a soft breeze whizzed past us. While David fell into a short nap, me sitting on his lap, I started swirling his chest-hair while feeling his manhood and caressing his chest. A small breeze with a smell of fire woke up David and we exchanged soft, tender kisses. David’s hand started to trace gentle motions on my warm skin, my pulse quickened, with increased yearning I eased and in a jiffy was reclining fully, while he was in front of me on his knees. I missed breaths when David fondled and teased my sensitive parts, gently but firmly. My folds of wetness fluttered and couldn’t wait any longer. I entwined David. When David was stroking to glory, my body shuddered in intense bliss, with grunts of a great cellist.
But the moment he came to know that I too was interested in him, he in a flash applied for a divorce from Jennifer. I felt guilty that I was the motivation for this act. I questioned myself, “Was it a mistake on my part to offer to spread my legs to him. Did that trigger David’s mind, taking a turn for the worse?” Winning over great legal battles, David got separated from Jennifer. Though I did not want a life with David at the cost of Jennifer’s life, it happened.
We got married quietly, with a few friends helping us out in the process. The same evening David had to go to Dubai for a client’s meet and so left immediately. On his arrival the same evening we traveled to Mauritius for honeymoon. On arrival at a beautiful beachside resort, the heated passion between us rose to great heights and could not be ignored. The time was great to open up our passions as our tongues danced merrily in each other’s mouth. We started to sway to the gentle music, from the music system. When our sweat glands got activated we reclined on the sofa, next to the window. We started communing silently, staring into each other’s eyes, while a soft breeze whizzed past us. While David fell into a short nap, me sitting on his lap, I started swirling his chest-hair while feeling his manhood and caressing his chest. A small breeze with a smell of fire woke up David and we exchanged soft, tender kisses. David’s hand started to trace gentle motions on my warm skin, my pulse quickened, with increased yearning I eased and in a jiffy was reclining fully, while he was in front of me on his knees. I missed breaths when David fondled and teased my sensitive parts, gently but firmly. My folds of wetness fluttered and couldn’t wait any longer. I entwined David. When David was stroking to glory, my body shuddered in intense bliss, with grunts of a great cellist.
When the moment arrived with a volcanic eruption, I trembled with tremors in the depths my folds. My carnal fantasies came true and felt great.
What seemed to be an eternity came to an end, when the resort receptionist called up to inform that we had to vacate, as we had completed our stay of five days!!!We came back to Bangalore, and went back to respective positions at office.
Part – II
Three great years have gone past and life continues monotonously nowadays. On weekends we go for a movie and sometimes we do visit pubs, as David likes to have a mug of beer, occasionally. Many weekends we just watch movies on TV or sit out on the terrace reading newspaper or magazines.
“Physical Attraction” and “An Awe” brought David and me closer,
culminating in our marriage.
We have shared more than our bodies for the past three years. There is nothing left to explore between us and life has started to slowdown. When I tickle him, he replies back, saying “Headache, Sindhu, good night”. When he tickles me, “David, no mood” is the spontaneous reply that I give. Very rarely do we time-it perfectly. I wonder whatever happened to our garden, Garden of Minds, which existed in our first couple of years together. The chemistry that bonded strongly has started thinning. There are no chill-effects as there are no-unknown territories between us. The escapades in the bedroom have all but waned, and either office-boardroom issues or issues of national importance dominate the talks in bedroom.
This has led David to bemoan that he finds me too deadening. He narrates now that he liked me as an ignorant and innocent village belle Lakshmi. Being a highflying software engineer, he wanted to marry a city bred software engineer and married Jennifer. He led a happy life for more than three years with Jennifer.
When David and me met, he liked my nature and me. I was awed by his human qualities. To measure up to him and Bangalore, I slowly changed from a Village Belle to a Bangalore Babe Sindhu! Now David’s mind has started wavering for the worse. I feel insecure and disturbed. I sometimes feel, that having a kid, could add to our bonding. Anyway, I thanked God that Dave [nowadays I call him Dave, very often] opened up his mind to me, on the deadening factor. I still remember, Dave never spelt out convincingly with Jennifer, when he wanted to separate from her. I feel I need to act with a sense of urgency, before matters turn irreparable.
On the following weekend, I smiled at David, “Shall we go out somewhere for sometime? “Sure why not” replied David. We went to a lonely place amidst the trees. We sat down there. I observed that about two feet separated our shoulders, unlike in the past when our shoulders used to gently but firmly rub against each other.
I enquired David, “Its more than four years since we met the first time and more than three years since we got married. Why is your mind wavering now? Are you looking for a change in wife? Do you no longer like me? Your slight indifference instills fear in me. Do you want me to be Lakshmi or Sindhu? I am ready for both. I want you always, till death” He pulled deep puffs from his cigarette, which he occasionally smokes. David answered, “After marriage, you started neglecting your body and fitness. You started to treasure unwanted flab all over you. While I kept pace with changing Metro-Attire-Code, at times you still sport a well-oiled ponytail. In the evenings when I come back home, I expect a pretty wife. I am not saying you are not pretty. You are, but only in office, and to your office colleagues. Whereas at home, you drape yourself in that old, crumpled, very loose nightdress. On top of that, you cover your busts with a dupatta. All this makes you unattractive. I can understand if your natural figure is unattractive. But, you have a good body shape with sharp features. Simply put, you don’t dress appropriately at home. When you can present attractively at office, why not at home? Is something wrong with me?” “David, yes. I have seen you change with changing times – be it in Attire or Hair Style or Technology. And you have been maintaining your body. I have not done any of these. I agree I am to correct myself” I replied. “David, shall I take a three month break and come back?” “Why not?” agreed David.Definitely the vibes n poetry has vanished in our
relationship.
Now I recall and relate my great grandma’s dressing dictates. She used to make me sit in between her legs and spin the ponytail, and adorn my ponytail with a piece of stringed jasmine flowers. After that she used to ensure that I washed my face, applied a layer of talcum powder and sport a fresh bindhi. She used to ensure that all her daughters-in-law and daughters mop up the home in the evening, dress-up prettily when dusk sets in. [It was a joint family those days]. Grandma’s makeup rituals had a meaning for life. It is ingrained in the Indian System that women are to look pretty in the evenings. Now I understand that physical attraction is the fulcrum for chemistry between a man and a woman, and this chemistry sustains life. Lack of this chemistry can break minds and marriages, forever. It is my mistake. I did not understand the significance of grandma’s instructions. I see the photographs of my first Birthday. I have three of them – one in normal pretty dress, one as Queen Elizabeth and one as Diana. Compare that to my brother’s photograph…he is dressed as a policeman with a pistol in hand! These photos capture the essence of life, which we miss generally.
On deep probing, I feel sex is one great thing that binds a
relationship between man and a woman – to a very great extent.
Only good physical looks and appearances will give rise to development of chemistry between a man and a woman, culminating in sensual passion.
I tool feel some “AWE” when I come across men with good human qualities and also carry a good, healthy physique. I do not ogle at men, while Dave never fails to ogle, when he comes across a PYT – Pretty Young Thing! To keep our life going, I have to re-create the “Thrill of Unknown” effect. For this to happen I need to take a long break from David and return back with a charm that creates “Thrill of Unknown” effects. But will I succeed? Will the plan work out? Don’t know, but let me try.
Remember the feeling of ecstasy, when you change your car, and drive the new car for the first time. You feel the same ecstasy whenever you drive a brand new car, which you buy - be it car or attire or music system or any damn thing. The strong urge to drive a yet-to-be-driven car or the strong urge to wear the new attire the first day you buy it or the strong urge to play the music system with lots of disks in as little time as possible, is all effects of “Thrill of Unknown”.
And this precisely is the reason, why for a man “neighbor’s wife” or “the girl next door” always looks more charming.The “Thrill of Unknown” factor comes into play every time you see or feel an unknown object. For a man “neighbor’s wife” is more charming than his wife.
Dad was very upset with me, when I decided to marry David and vowed never to see again. As contemplated, I applied for three months leave. But my boss, Edward, turned that down. I quit the company and decided to visit my father at his place in village, Sindhupatti. I told, “Dave, I will take a three month break. I will visit dad and come back, with renewed energy and renewed looks, with a much fitter body – this can be achieved more easily at Sindhupatti, than in any of the expensive Fitness Centers in Bangalore. But, will you promise me that you will stay alone, and not fall prey to good looks of some other female? And of course maintain dry days! ” Dave laughed and instantly agreed. “Sindhu, probably the three month break, will turn out to be a panacea for our problem – lack of inertia in our life” said Dave.
Somehow I mustered enough courage to go to the village, and stand face-to-face with my father. When I reached Sindhupatti, I walked about 20 minutes to reach my home gate. The evening breeze was silent but quite strong. Dad stepped out and was surprised to see me alone. He did not utter a single word. I stood firmly with a gentle breeze breezing past me. When Babu came behind me, I did not notice him. Dad said to Babu, “Babu, your Lakshmi has changed. She is now Sindhu and no more Lakshmi or Sindhulakshmi. That’s why she never responded when you called out – Lakshmi, Lakshmi, Lakshmi”. I realized that my senses never responded to Babu’s call. I turned back and said, “Babu, Sorry. I did not hear your calls” I was surprised to see Jennifer with a kid, at a distance. Dad told me that this marriage was arranged and solemnized by him. “Dad, was it to atone the sin that I committed on Jennifer?” I enquired. Babu said, “Lakshmi, I married Jennifer on your father’s advice and also because of the fact that she was your friend. And also to stop her cursing you - my Lakshmi, for the break-up with David, I married her. I am happy now.” “I am happy too, so too is my kid” announced Jennifer, fast approaching me.
With silence around and a strong wind breezing past me, my eyes
swelled with tears, gazing the sky.
Sindhu
