OEDIPUS - An India Story

Greetings to you!

When I was studying 5th standard, my parents took me to a long trip to Kanyakumari by car – the good old Ambassador. Ramu, our driver, was at the wheels and dad was seated in the front. I was sitting at the rear with mom. It was around 3:00 PM in the afternoon, after a heavy lunch, when mom was singing a lullaby to put me to sleep. The car was cruising at around 50 miles per hour speed – a normal speed on Indian highways. Suddenly in a flash, the car was hurtling down off the road after hitting a huge truck. I don’t remember the incidents that happened for the next couple of hours. When I regained consciousness, I saw dad in unconscious state in hospital and mom in the mortuary. I still remember my cries and even now my eyes are moist recollecting those gory images. Ramu was also admitted in the hospital with small bruises and a minor fracture in the leg.

Ramu recovered in couple of weeks and took to driving. Dad had bought the car recently and had wished to go on a long drive and the wish turned out to be a tragedy. I lost mom. Dad was crippled for life. Both his legs were amputated and the doctors reported that he would take many years to recover fully but only with false legs. I wept uncontrollably for days and weeks together, but had to reconcile to the fact. Ramu was very supportive. The office where Dad was working chipped in with some amount for the medications, but the regular salary that Dad was used to getting stopped abruptly. It was a monumental tragedy for all of us. I was just around 12 years then studying for my fifth grade, in a private school.

Dad was crippled for life, but he was not short of encouraging words for me. He egged me to study well for my fifth grade. But I could not concentrate the way I was earlier. When the exams fast approached I put in extra hours of effort to somehow clear. But the gory images filled my mind and tears filled my eyes missing mom very much. I failed to clear fifth grade. My teacher visited my home and spoke to dad - immediately after the results. I do not know what they spoke in privacy. But dad insisted that I would continue studies, repeating fifth grade.

There was a problem. The private school fees were exorbitant and with dad’s salary gone, coupled with dad’s high medical costs, there was no choice, but to drop out of the private school. Ramu chipped in saying, henceforth he would drive the car as a taxi and take care of all three of us – including him. Ramu put me in the nearby Government managed school in fifth grade. Dad controlled his tears when I announced that I joined the lowly rated Corporation School. “I wanted my child to study in a great public school, but that was not to be. Oh Sindhu, I am sorry for all that has happened. Please forgive me, please forgive me. Kill me. Kill me. I don’t want to see all this. I killed your mom. I don’t want to be a burden to you all” wept dad uncontrollably. I too wept uncontrollably but dad comforted me. He egged me to study well and take care of him. I assured him that I would study well and that I would never leave him to be tended by any other hand for life – big words though.

The car insurance company fired more questions to us than answers and we knew it would be futile to expect any worthwhile amount from the insurance company. Ramu took a loan and repaired the car. With his measly income, we pulled on with life. We moved to a much smaller one-room house to save on rent.

I studied well and came out with flying colors. I completed my Graduation in Commerce coming out as a University topper. I was so attached to dad that I could not see any other human being on this earth. He was omnipresent and he was my GOD. I prayed only him – day in and day out.

Being a University topper I got into a company as a Probationary Officer for the first six months. Dad was getting sick by the day. Dad’s deteriorating health often put me in a state of sadness. I could not visualize a world without him. When he mildly coughed I was there with a glass of water. I slept by his bedside for so many years now, that there was no place for anyone else in my life.

Six months of probation was over; and I was recruited as a regular officer with a decent salary. I announced this to dad and he was thrilled to the core. But his frail health prevented him to feel and celebrate the way he wished. Nevertheless, I could sense his mood – and I was happy at that. I called in Ramu and he too was thrilled. “Ramu, you sacrificed your life for our well being. You never got married. You brought me up too. I am extremely thankful for that. Why don’t you get married now? I know you are close to 50 years now. But why don’t you try?” I quipped. “Don’t joke Sindhu” gagged Ramu. Seeing this happy moment, dad was extremely happy. Within seconds he fainted in his bed. Ramu called in a doctor. Doctor arrived in the next few minutes and checked. He gave few additional medicines and informed us that dad was normal and only that his blood pressure had shot up momentarily – though on a happy account. He advised us to keep dad in a cheerful mood always and that his days are numbered. I was shocked, but never expressed.

While coming back home from office, the next evening, I shuddered at the thought of my life without dad – how ever sick he was. I stopped midway and went to a coffee pub. After pondering for a while, I went to my family doctor, Amisha –known as Ami. “Ami, I wanted to discuss with you something serious. Please excuse me for not informing you about my arrival. Can we discuss for few minutes?” “Yes my child why not?” replied Ami. We discussed for a long time and I left home at close to midnight. When I reached home, dad was waiting at the door, on his wheel chair without even having his dinner. “My child, I hope you know how difficult it is to move moments without you” said dad. “Dad I was with Ami for sometime late in the evening and got late. Sorry about that” I replied. Dad refused to have food and I too skipped and we went to bed.

As planned Ami visited our home in the morning and I left for work.

Ami: “Uncle, I have known you for so long. Last evening Sindhu was with me discussing about surrogacy”
Dad: “I know she was there. Why on earth were you discussing about surrogacy?”
Ami: “You know very well that Sindhu cannot visualize a life without you”
Dad: “Yes. I know. Same is the case with me too. I cannot live without her”
Ami: “And that’s the reason she discussed surrogacy with me”
Dad: “I can’t understand still”

The talk has continued like this for an hour or so. When I came back home early in the evening – “How on earth could you think of such a thing Sindhu?” thundered dad. I was aware that his BP needs to be in control and remained silent. “But dad, you have always said that I am everything for you and that you would give me whatever I asked for?” “But I never imagined that you would come up with this kinda request. I am shocked…” replied dad. “Anyway, since you have sacrificed so much for me, you have studied well and coming up well in life, I have no choice but agree to your request. I am happy though – I do not know if there are any legal complications in this. I feel out of the world – but don’t know the reason. If you are happy, I am happy!” said dad. I was thrilled to the extreme. I immediately called Ami to inform. Ami requested me to keep this entire issue within us.

Ami, as planned came home early in the morning, conducted a few tests on dad and carried out the remaining processes. In a few weeks time, Ami implanted the womb in me – developed from my eggs and dad’s sperms. Weeks later the growth showed up and colleagues at office started questioning. My boss too was sounded out and he called me in his chamber. I narrated the true story to him and asked for his advice. He advised me to take a long vacation and come back after the birth of the child. I heeded his advice and rested at home for months.

Ami used to conduct regular tests and inform me that the growth is normal. But there was a catch now – financial problems started again. Medical expenses shot up and my salary also stopped. We decided to sell dad’s car that Ramu was driving. Ramu grudgingly agreed to the proposal. With that small amount we managed the medical costs and cost of living. Though dad’s health was deteriorating very fast.

Weeks thereafter, in the wee hours of a morning, I got severe abdominal pains. The pain was unbearable and had all the symptoms of labor pain. I clutched dad’s neck and shook him out of sleep. He knew only Ramu’s number and got a reply that Ramu was away to distant Kerala with his new boss. I was writhing in pain and knew that anytime I would faint and that I would beget a baby anytime now. I clutched dad’s neck strongly and shouted for help. “Sindhu, I am so sorry. You have helped me all your life, but at this moment, I am of no use to you. I am a sinner. I am a sinner. Let me die” wept dad. I could hear someone breaking the doors open. That was the neighbor’s servant maid. She sounded out to all in the neighborhood and I lost consciousness in a few moments.

When I regained consciousness, I saw my son. I asked for my dad. Ami told that he was no more. I was shocked. I yelled. Ami gave me an injection and put me to sleep again. The next time I woke up, I saw my son in cheerful mood - waving his hands and moaning to glory. He resembled every bit of dad. I prayed GOD for dad’s soul to rest in peace and that his new avatar in the form of my son to have a long and peaceful life.

After a week, a policeman came knocking at home. He informed me that dad’s death was un-natural, as per medical reports. I was shocked. I narrated the entire sequence of happenings that took place on that fateful intervening night and morning. He called me to the police station and I went with my baby in hand. A case was registered and I came back home. One fine morning, in a few weeks thereafter, I got a notice inviting to attend an enquiry by the magistrate.

When the magistrate questioned me, I once again narrated the same sequences. When he asked me spell out the reasons, I told him that I did not intend to kill him. I told him dad was my life and I could not have killed him. “But it is a fact that you have killed your dad” thundered the magistrate. I told him that I did not want my unborn son to also call him DAD and share my father’s dad-hood with me. I was a bit selfish here, but I regret. But in a moment of madness coupled with extreme labor pains – perhaps I used a wee bit extra force on dad’s neck. Magistrate nodded his head in approval.

The judge then read out the judgment. “This is a special case and one of the rarest. This is a murder committed by a daughter on her father. Not in the best of her senses but when she was undergoing labor pains. This is not a pre-mediated murder for gains nor is there any evidence of any bad motive. In fact, this is not going to inspire any sane person on this earth and that the situations leading to the murder was unique and very rare. And this court also has kept in mind the humanitarian aspect. The court has decided to grant 5 years Simple Imprisonment to Sindhu and she has the option to keep the child with her. If she decides so, the Jail authorities would provide all care and assistance to Sindhu to nurse her baby son”

I was shattered to know that I was responsible for dad’s murder. But that was a fact and life started in the jail. The jail and court agreed to release me on parole in my fourth year, keeping in mind my son’s first admission to school.

I came out of jail and didn’t know where to go. I had earned couple of hundreds in jail and that was the only money I had with me. I went to Ramu’s place. He was there with a failing health. He was surprised to see me – in his slum dwelling. He invited me to stay on as long as I wanted, but told me not to ask for anything to eat.

He wept cuddling my son but said it was ages since he had eaten good food. He was out of work due to failing health and was living on alms. I took him to a nearby street food outlet and we all had one good dinner with the money I had. The next morning I went to my old office where I worked. The HR informed me that I was terminated from service, and persons with criminal record are not recruited as per company policy. I was crestfallen. I told her that I had completed my Probation and that I was a University Topper – but in vain. I knocked on a couple of organizations but did not succeed. The status of a criminal, coupled with the stigma of an unwed mother went against me. I had no friends and was feeling very depressed. I met Ami, but she could not help much. She even refused to part with a small loan. She was magnanimous to feed my son with a bowl of rice gruel – I knew my son relished that. Tears filled my eyes. I thought of committing suicide – but did not know how and where. The glowing but skinny face of my son was the only solace I had.

All my recent friends were in the jail and I decided to visit the jail warden. But on reaching the railway station after a long walk I realized that I did not have enough money to buy train tickets. I approached the Station Master – “We see so many such cases every day. You take money, drink liquor and create nuisance on the streets. Get out of here. Else I will call police!” thundered the Station Master. “I want train tickets alone and not money Sir” I requested. “You don’t look very bad though. Why don’t you earn by sleeping with me?” enquired the Station Master. I was furious but had no choice but to run out. I entered the train platform and got into a train. I begged few people for a ticket, without luck. I got into another train and joined one another lady with a child in tow and started begging. At the end of the evening I could barely collect a few coins and managed to feed my son for dinner.

Late in the evening I did not know where to go and decided to stay on in the railway station and hoped to collect sufficient coins the next day. With my son and the University Degree secured in the mid-riff, I coiled under a seat in one of the abandoned railway compartments far away from the regular platforms – to spend the long night.

The next morning…

Station Master - “Hey who is that. Get up lady it’s already 6:00 AM” Finding no response from the lady with the child, he stoops down to move the lady physically - only to see two departed souls…

Sindhu