Requiem for Marriages

Greetings!

Couple of years back my brother, Ram, got into a MNC and now he is working as a Project Manager in the same Organization.

Last night, while having dinner, dad raised the ubiquitous topic of his marriage. Every time when this topic is brought up Ram would evade a direct answer and escape. Now dad was more serious and wanted a direct confirmative answer from Ram.

“Dad, I do not want to get married at all” thundered Ram. Dad was shocked. “Dad, No doubt, I was interested in getting married. But actually I also had a Live-In Arrangement in my mind. That is the reason, I was dragging on the issue, all these days” said Ram. “But unfortunately I did not come across any female who was willing for a live-in arrangement. Hence the delay dad.”

“Ok. I understand, but now why are you saying that you do not want to get married at all. It is a heart breaking decision to hear from you. What prompted you to arrive at such a negative decision? Don’t you believe in the institution called marriage? Your mother and me are married for the last 30 years successfully” asked dad. “Yes dad, now I do not want to get married at all. Neither am I interested in a Live-In relationship with anyone” said Ram.

“In a year Sindhu too should get married. So it is important that you get married now, so that we can be ready for her marriage” counseled Dad. Looking at mom, dad shouted “Hey what are you standing like a buffalo. Advice him.”

Ram yelled back, “I do not want to argue with mom anymore. I do not want to talk to her at all. I do not want to speak to Sindhu either.” We were all shocked and awed by Ram’s yell. What ever happened to him I wondered.

“No. Nothing happened to me. I am just afraid of the new Domestic Violence Act” said Ram. “I do not want to go to jail on false complaints. I do not want you, Dad, to land up in Jail too. I do not want to risk my life and career for getting married. Marriage is just a thing of the past. Marriage is dead in my dictionary. Why even a Live-In relationship is dead in my dictionary”

“Why? Why are you so afraid my son?”

Ram gave the following explanation with examples under which, a policeman can arrest him and possibly Dad, with a Non-Bailable Arrest Warrant, based on a complaint by Ram’s [future] wife under provisions of Section 498A.

1. If I disagree to her wish to set up a nuclear family – separating from you people.
2. If I disagree when she gets all her sisters and stays at my house at my cost.
3. If I disagree when she wants to go to a cinema.
4. If I cannot drop her at her office daily
5. If I disapprove of her decision to quit her job.
6. If I cannot get a job and unable to feed her, and take care of lifestyle expenses.
7. If I ask her to wash a plate that she used.
8. I don’t have a choice to divorce her, unless I part with all my earnings and wealth and maintain her all through her lifetime – despite clinching a divorce after, may be 10 years of my struggle and torture at her hands.
9. Finally, I can go to jail if I cannot get “into-the-mood”, when she wants!

“Now tell me dad, each one of the above is considered Domestic Violence someway or the other. Would you risk going to jail on a non-bailable arrest warrant, even though you know that you are innocent; and that you know your wife is framing you? --- I did not burn midnight oil to get through JEE; get into IIT; and then get into IIM-A after 2 years of preparation; and struggled to get a job in MNC; braved extreme winter in USA for 2 years to accumulate a small fortune --- just to get into a Central Jail on a one line complaint from my wife of 1 week. Even Terrorists are getting Bailable Arrest Warrants these days. Supreme Court declared terrorists get Mercy these days. Why Nalini – involved in Rajiv Gandhi assassination – has ‘rightfully’ appealed to set her free. My wife can marry me; enjoy honeymoon; and then within a week make a complaint to the police under Section 498A and ask for my entire wealth; and who knows part of your wealth too. Then we both may have to take a bowl and beg in Central Railway Station. Do you want that to happen, just because you want me to get married?”

Dad was totally confused at the brilliance of Ram’s argument. Mom and me were totally aghast. I wanted to protest and Googled to find points to argue that Ram was one-sided; exaggerating to the core; and his understanding was misplaced. But I failed to get any.

I was giggling inside me that at last there was a law in India that protected women from all violence; why even small pinpricks could be termed Domestic Violence. I concealed my delight with great difficulty.

After about a week, dad suggested that I get married first. I told him that I would consult G. G and myself are in love for the past 3 years. To my astonishment G also argued like Ram and told me bluntly that he was neither interested in Marriage nor Live-In relationship – fearing provisions of Sections 498A in DV Act. Dad and Mom were too were surprised and warned me. I was aghast and told G to “f***-Off forever.”

Dad told me to register my profile in couple of popular marriage web portals. I did so and waited for many weeks and there was no response. I was surprised. I started to send my profile to the registered Grooms. But again there was no response from any of the Grooms from any of the portals.

I called up each of the portal centers to find out the reason. The portal owner said all Grooms with good education; decent wealth and little common sense have decided not to marry.

But he asked me, “Madam, would you like to marry a confirmed beggar living in a slum on the banks of stinking Cooum River?”

Sindhu